Dem Bones

Kitty_skeleton.jpg
A character study of 22 present and past cartoon characters
This is just awesome, but what I really want to see is a full edition of TMNT done in skeletons. Heroes in a half shell and all that (and just what the hell does the “half shell” thing mean, anyway? Does Leonardo suffer from leprosy, or did the Shredder just, well, shred their shells in half or something? Or does it mean they’re ready to be eaten like oysters? Fucking cryptic cartoon song lyrics. Have Bob Dylan write that shit or something.).

New Workday Schedule

– Wake up at 6:20
– Shit, shower, shave
– Breakfast
– Catch 7:28 bus for work
– Arrive 7:45
– Morning exercises/brainwashing ceremony at 8:00
– Work
– Walk home from work (maybe 45 mins.; will time today)
First day thoughts: Morning exercise routine is for the birds. Everybody stands facing my side of the room, so I have a sinking feeling that everyone is staring at my ass when I bend over. This is not conducive to a pre-lunch bowel movement, and I like to stay regular. Plus, brainwashing exercises are not as interesting, even from a cultural viewpoint, as I once thought. I do not want to go back to drinking coffee on a regular basis. Caffeine baaaaaaaad. How the fuck to stay awake? Maybe I should cut ventilation holes in my skull to keep the circulation going.
Oh god I hate morning people. Yuck. Master J says YUCK.

Rare Sighting

Just saw a fire engine red Ferrari Testarossa rear-end a red fire engine. If that ain’t poetic justice, I don’t know what is. The Ferrari driver was, of course, a big, fat wanker who got out and started yelling at the firemen.
I made sure to laugh hard enough so he could hear me.

Shucho Hell

The past few days have been spent in business meetings and on buses. I’ve spent like ten hours on buses in the last three days. Buses beget buses. Go figure. I’m so wacked I couldn’t remember if BUSES was spelled BUSSES, BUSES, or BUSSESS, so I chose the middle one. When in doubt, straddle the fence (and hope it ain’t barbed wire). Must unplug. Must unwind.
But first, must go back to the office and fill out expense reports. By bus.
Ugh.

Japanese Office Trivia of the Day: FedEx

Did you know that FedEx actually has FOUR official FedEx Box sizes?
Small, Medium, Large, and unmarked. The unmarked size is larger than all the others… and the very existence of an unmarked box size annoys the shit out of me for some reason. Logically, it should be Extra Large or X-Large or oh!oh!oh! I know!… FedEx Large!
Fucking office work marginalizing my Medulla again. Tomorrow I might report on the danger of paper cuts in the workplace and the Japanese solution of thick orange condoms for your fingertips.