-
Adam’s Mullet
The other day, Adam saw a school of fat mullet under a bridge near my house, so we decided to try and catch them with the only bait I had around, pickled grubs. *Note to self: Mullet could give a shit about pickled grubs. Idiot. The stupid fish were ignoring the bait, so we decided to use a big seabass lure as a yo-yo rig (illegal in our home state of California). I felt kind of bad about snagging them since we weren’t keeping them, but Adam, being an inherently bad person, had no such compunctions: MulletMania Magazine Photo Contest Winner: Mullets are ugly up close: You kiss your mother…
-
R.I.P. to Asian Jungle Punk
The London-based Asian Dub Foundation used to be one of my favorite bands. They brought out 3 solid albums over the space of 7 years, each with its own distinct flavor and brilliance, and their live shows were among the most powerful I have ever seen. Their energy on stage was simply infectious, completely void of any commercial or “trying too hard” vibes that ruin most concerts. When asked to describe their music, they replied, “Asian Jungle Punk.” That was pretty much the coolest thing I had ever heard in a band interview, and a fitting description, as well. So you know how all good things come to an end,…
-
Osaka Stories (part 1 of ???)
////////////////////////////////////// NOTE FROM SITE OWNER: It has come to my attention that the link to this page has recently been included in several blog spams. I am in no way related to the spammer and have no idea why he is including my link in his spam. I do apologize for any inconvenience it has caused you. For background info on this situation, please see the comments to this post, below. ////////////////////////////////////// Before I took my current job, my girlfriend and I were living in the slums of Osaka (Nishinari-ku), one of the few places in Japan where it’s genuinely dangerous to walk alone at night, and often remembered for…
-
Osaka’s Depressing Underground
I used to ride the Osaka subways to and from work every day and after a while you either get really good at blocking things out – crazy subway people, inane station announcements repeated twice in the key of nasal, irritating advertisements, the sharp tang of body odor, a full spectrum of distractions that bombard your already dulled senses – or you slowly become insane. This is especially clear to me now, living out on Awajishima, which I like to describe as “a floating retirement community off the coast of Kobe.” Moving out to the country after living in Osaka for a couple years was a real relief, and I…
-
Learning to Flush
This was a new one for me – a public toilet with no manual flushing mechanism at all. The pictured unit is a remote mounted on the wall. Stupid, stupid idea. For instance, what happens if the batteries run out? Technological “advances” like this just cause unneeded stress for the user. Hey, I wonder if TOTO is looking for a toilet design consultant who can issue real-life testing reports in EN/JP (props to anyone who can effectively translate “blumpy,” “spatter effect,” and “logjam” into another language)… I was born to do that job.
-
Stroking my ego
ADVANCED You scored 93% Beginner, 86% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 72% Expert! You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels’ questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don’t use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score. (I might also add that 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am king of the universe, and I cook a mean Kobe steak, too.) Take the test: The Commonly Confused Words Test
-
Inside the mind of Eddie Vedder
The lyrics to “Yellow Ledbetter” deciphered.
-
Les Quiz
You’re butch. You have little use for femininitybecause frankly, it never got you anywhere.Guys may find you intimidating, but once theyget to know you, you’re not so bad. You’reempowered and sometimes stand up for women’sand gay rights. If you own a motorcycle, youprobably also know how to strip it and performyour own repairs. If something bugs you aboutyour house, fixing it is no problem. You may bea little shy about decking, tile work,electrical work, plumbing or hanging windows.Once you figure out how to do it, there isn’tmuch holding you back. What is your Dyke Rating? brought to you by Quizilla Damn. I wanted to be a lesbian seagull.
-
Chibi! Kuro! Sambo!
In the race toward cultural insensitivity, Japan proves to be a proud contender once again! Next month, Japanese publisher Zuiunsha will revive the Japanese version of Little Black Sambo: LINK I’m buying, like, a thousand copies to hand out in place of business cards.
-
C. Buddha’s Top Ten Pet Peeves – Updated for 2005
1. People who test ringtones in public. 2. People who cut you off because you decided to drive “nice” today. 3. The phantom butt itch (in public – in private it’s scratchable). 4. Cheerful people on Monday mornings. 5. Cheerful people in general. 6. People. 7. The absence of napkins at many (most?) restaurants in Japan. 8. High society types from Tochigi who pronounce “Tochigi” differently than everyone else. 9. Computer-retarded Powerbook snobs. 10. Gossipy office harpies that spend lunchbreaks painting their faces like whores and have a cow over me “tapping” the copier when it gets jammed and won’t reset.




















