Monthly Archives: November 2005

J. Lo's interview with C. ("Cosmic") Buddha, Esq.

In the following interview, Jennifer Lopez, star of The Wedding Planner (Sony Pictures, 2001), asks Cosmic Buddha about the specifics of his upcoming wedding in Thailand. J.Lo: Nice to see you again, CB. CB: Oh HELL YES. This is more … Continue reading

Posted in Our Wedding in Thailand | 5 Comments

Note to self

That was most likely not what Nam had in mind last night when she told me to think about the reception. Try again, Einstein.

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Wherein I am interviewed by my Inner Gay Wedding Planner

IGWP: So have you thought about your wedding reception? Me: Yes, it distresses me deeply. I don’t have a clue about this stuff. Fag. IGWP: Don’t be so mean! I deserve respect; I’m a professional! Me: Shut up, biiiiotch. Just … Continue reading

Posted in Our Wedding in Thailand | 2 Comments

Endangered Species

The path I have chosen is the very model of assimilation into broader culture. – My blood is nearly 100% Japanese (whatever the hell that means), although I may have some Russian blood in me as well (that would explain … Continue reading

Posted in Chillin' | 1 Comment

What's Your Flavor?

Here is a user-friendly tool to help decide which Linux distros are a good match for your needs: Linux Distribution Chooser I’ve recently been carrying around a JP version of a Knoppix Live CD for use at net cafes and … Continue reading

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Do As I Say, Federal Emergency Management Edition

Oh my god. It’s like something I’d consider funny, except that it’s too retarded: If I can help people focus on preparedness, how to be better prepared in their homes and better prepared in their businesses – because that goes … Continue reading

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Crane-kicking it in heaven

This is sad. Ohaaaraaaaa! I may have made my last Mr. Miyagi joke.

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My new wallet

This is my new wallet, and I am secure in my manhood. Spicy move!

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All Daddy Wanted…

(from osaka bill)

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Mirin Desu

Sign says, “This is mirin.” I guess because some people might mistake it for cooking oil, even though it says “mirin” on the bottle. What they really need is some signs that say, “this is nira,” and, “these are green … Continue reading

Posted in Moblog (archives) | 1 Comment

Questions to Which I Have Answered, "Oh, Fuck No!"

In Japan: – Do you wear shoes inside your home in America? > (…my mom would have a cow.) – Would you like to try a slice of Salmon Cream Pizza? > (…get that nasty shit away from me. squid, … Continue reading

Posted in Chillin' | 3 Comments

Time to Chill

Sit back and relaaaaaaaax: Beginner’s Guide To Understanding The Roots Vol. 1&2

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An open letter to the Japanese government

Let’s make a deal (Let’s Dealing!): I will concede to the popular belief that the shadows on the moon look like a rabbit pounding mochi as long as you wait until I’m gone to implement this bullshit. That is all.

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Shades of Cryptonomicon

“HavenCo Limited is exploiting a unique opportunity to set up the world’s first real data haven. The initial showcase datacenter is the Principality of Sealand, the world’s smallest sovereign territory. It was founded over thirty years ago and has obtained … Continue reading

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Mediterrasse

(click to enlarge) A new love hotel shopping center (see comments) being put up in Kobe. I love my new camera.

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Times change…

From August, 1981: The story behind this ad can be found here. And as for the present day: Nihau, Lenovo.

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You knee chloe

The UNIQLO I walk by on my way home from work.

Posted in Moblog (archives) | 1 Comment

Fantasy E-mail Functions: Auto-Append

Description: This feature automatically appends the phrase “, you fucking idiot(s)” to every sentence you write. This feature is toggled ON by scowling or narrowing of eyes (as interpreted by facial recognition software), and OFF by slamming your fist through … Continue reading

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Losers, one and all

Now I got these losers posting spam for free iPods on my blog by hand. SarahAnderson@yahoo.com, you are a simple bitch. UPDATE: My blacklist let out a foul belch when he ate your site. You gots bad juju or sumfin.

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On the bathroom shelf

peko-chan

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