New phrase: “I shoot/shot them with my sword”

I’ve used this on Facebook referring to people who claim to blog or have a blog because they use Facebook. Of course, since Facebook is invisible and merely repackages and resells anything I post to it, I decided to coin it on the internet as well:
“I will shoot them with my sword.”
“I shoot them with my sword.”
“I shot them with my sword.”

There, I feel much better.

Hapax legomenon of the day (with def)

Bamafutication: Claiming that the commander-in-chief had “nothing to do” with a military operation targeting the most wanted man in the world.

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You’re just angry you missed the Apprentice.

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UPDATE: Out of many, this is the best.

ESL Lesson of the day – Son of of Bitch (i.e., Son of Bitch)

This video of a Korean English teacher explaining choice bits of slang and expletives had me snorting with laughter:

My favorite ESL-related clip of all time, though, is Harold Ramis’s opening scene in Stripes (I can’t believe it’s almost 30 years old – I remember watching it at the drive in with my parents):

Son of Bitch! Shit! – When you care enough to send the very best.

keriorrhoea

n : gastrointestinal symptoms caused by undigested wax esters (Gempylotoxin) of the oilfish or butterfish (that is contained in their natural diet but remain in their muscle tissue) which may include oily orange diarrhea, discharge, or leakage from the rectum that may smell of mineral oil. The discharge can stain clothing and occur without warning 30 minutes to 36 hours after consuming the fish. The oil may pool in the rectum and cause frequent urges for bowel movements due to its lubricant qualities and may be accidentally discharged by the passing of gas. Symptoms may occur over a period of one or more days. Other symptoms may include stomach cramps, loose bowel movements, diarrhea, headaches, nausea, and vomiting.
To minimize the risk of symptoms, strict control of portion size is recommended as well as preparation methods that remove some of the oil (e.g. grilling). Portions should be no greater than 6 ounces.

Compiled from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escolar
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By the way, the Wikipedia article contends that escolar (a kind of snake mackerel) is different than oilfish (also a kind of snake mackerel; more on this later). The Radar article I linked in my first escolar post made it sound as if they were the same. Actually, it turns out that butterfish is sometimes labeled as oilfish although it isn’t any more oilfish than oilfish is Orange Roughy. Is it just me, or does someone at the FDA have to get off their ass and stop allowing every fucking semi-deep water fish (plus a few others) to be called Orange Roughy/Red Snapper/Sea Bass? Especially a fish that, as it turns out, was not only banned in Japan but also in Italy? These are two countries that know a bit about fish, yo…
Anyway here’s the classification breakdown according to Wikipedia:
ESCOLAR (butterfish)
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Actinopterygii
Order: Perciformes
Family: Gempylidae
Genus: Lepidocybium
(Gill, 1862)
Species: L. flavobrunneum
Binomial name: Lepidocybium flavobrunneum
(Smith, 1843)
OILFISH
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Actinopterygii
Order: Perciformes
Family: Gempylidae
Genus: Ruvettus
Species: R. pretiosus
Binomial name: Ruvettus pretiosus
(Cocco, 1833)

response in the dark

Sometimes getting a comment on a post I wrote long ago when I was insane really makes my day: Scalpulation
The really puzzling thing is that since I broke my sidebar, there really is no way to get to that post except by stumbling onto it, or perhaps googling for that imaginary word that I made up in a fit of weirdness. That’s really cool.
Almost as cool as applicosinox.

“The devil is beating his wife”

Someone at work asked me what this phrase meant the other day. I just got around to looking it up. It refers to the weather condition when it is sunny but raining. I never knew there was a term for it. I always just thought of it as “Hawaii weather.” Apparently, the following phrases also mean the same thing:
“foxes are on a marriage parade”
“witches are doing their wash”
“a tailor is going to hell”
(source)
To these, I would add another:
“The Big Monkey in the Sky Is Peeing on Us, Violently”
Mine makes a hell of a lot more sense than that foxes’ marriage parade bullshit. Fucking illogical weather arcana!
UPDATE: Duh, I completely forgot the term “sunshowers.”