Category: Work

A Visa Crawl

Long-term foreign residents of Thailand not fortunate (unfortunate?) enough to have a permanent residency or Thailand Elite card must apply for visa extensions, usually every year. It’s pretty much expected to be a long and drawn-out process. This year proved to be no exception. We left Mahasarakham at 6:15 AM and arrived at Mukdahan immigration shortly after 9.
Because the idiots in our personnel department couldn’t get our documents together, our trip had been delayed until one of the busiest days of the year – just a couple days before many people’s contracts (and hence visas) end.
The whole day was long and tiring; I spent most of it standing at the application window watching our stack of applications not moving on the counter for about 5 hours straight and joking with the immigration official, fellow teachers, and other random applicants. Let’s just cut to the chase and say that we left the immigration office after 7 PM, nearly three hours after official closing time.
I have to give props where they’re due and say that the two officials working the window really worked hard and got everybody through with a minimum of fuss, all things considered. They were also very nice, patient, and understanding, which hasn’t been the case in the past at either Muk or Nong Khai immigration.
The next and final step in this process is getting our work permits renewed, and since the aforementioned idiots in Personnel managed to delay our paperwork for this as well, we were unable to go today and are forced to go tomorrow. It has to get done tomorrow, or we have to leave the country and our visas will be canceled. That might cause a bit of a stir, even by the low standards of Personnel, so I’m pretty sure they’ll be ready. I just hope they’re done in the morning like we’ve been promised, because I’m teaching a community learning class in the afternoon…
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UPDATE 9/30: I FINISHED! I FINISHED! I FINISHED! No more of this bullshit for another year (except for reports every 90 days)!!!

Dutch wives et al

Speaking of writing class, one of the earlier assignments was to write from the point of view of an object. Imagine my surprise when one of my students said she wanted to write from the POV of a “Dutch wife.”
This term actually came up in her Thai-English electronic dictionary and upon questioning her about it, I came to understand that she was talking about a dakimakura, or body pillow. I suggested she use the word body pillow, but was intrigued by the use of “Dutch wife.” You see, in my experience with the Japanese language, it basically only means a blow-up sex doll, and I didn’t even know it was used in English. Here it is, though, complete with the meaning of dakimakura listed at the top: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_wife
So I guess this is just part of learning something new every day. Also, it’s hard to get my mind out of the gutter, because THE GUTTER IS ITS HOME.

1:50 AM

I’m grading writing exams and listening to Houses of the Holy. Definitely my favorite Zepp. I tried grading earlier in the evening but Max would come and take my pen away every time. Eventually I grew tired of getting nothing done and crashed out on the couch. when I woke up it was dark throughout the house and the fan that Nam had thoughtfully pointed at me hadn’t kept the mosquitoes from biting the hell out of my legs. Once I got up for water I remembered the grading I’d been doing and now I sit here, scratching my legs and appreciating a quiet house (save for The Rain Song).
Damn, even the songs I don’t really like on this album are pretty goddamn good.

Banning “Dzongkha” – Microsoft hates the Dalai Lama and Bhutan, but Loves Chinese Money!

Oh, Microsoft!

In October 2005, an internal Microsoft proposal blocked the term “Dzongkha” from all company software and promotional material, substituting the term “Tibetan – Bhutan” instead. The International Campaign for Tibet cites the memorandum as saying Dzongkha “implies affiliation with the Dalai Lama, which is not acceptable to the government of China”. The Bhutanese, who have never been under the rule of the Dalai Lamas, even if they revere the 14th Dalai Lama, were dismayed by the decision. Linguists have pointed out that the word “Dzongkha” has no particular association with the Dalai Lama. Ironically, the government of the People’s Republic of China continues to use the term “Dzongkha” in its official publications.

Oh well, Chinese gold still glitters I suppose… And Microsoft isn’t exactly known for taking the ngyen khag* route.
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* risky (Dzongkha phrasebook)

Druk Yul – Land of the Thunder Dragon

I’m currently doing some minor freelance work for the government of Bhutan, which has been one of my dreams since I heard than Bhutanese look just like Japanese about ten years ago.
That is all.
UPDATE: This is just editing work, not destroying spam botnets with my magical mango tree. The content is regarding policy for the Royal Institute of Health Science at the Royal University of Bhutan. Still stoked to have been chosen.

Buffalo x 8

First of all, Wikipedia has done more for me over the years than anti-fungal ointment, and depending on if you smelled my shoes when I had athlete’s foot (actually, if you were in any enclosed space with my shoes, you most likely did smell them), that’s saying an awful lot.
Secondly, it took me a good fifteen minutes to truly understand this (grammatically correct) sentence: Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
I’m totally using that for a class, because in the Thai language, calling someone a buffalo is a hugely insulting and funny thing, and “buffalo” is one English word every Thai person knows. Just mentioning it in class will produce immediate and long-lasting laughter, for students of any age. So I’m afraid it might take a whole class to parse this sentence properly.
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UPDATE:
Buffalobuffalobuffalo.png

Writing exercises

While researching for an extended writing class, I stumbled upon this list of exercises at McSweeney’s: THIRTEEN WRITING PROMPTS
Sample:

“A wasp called the tarantula hawk reproduces by paralyzing tarantulas and laying its eggs into their bodies. When the larvae hatch, they devour the still living spider from the inside out. Isn’t that fucked up? Write a short story about how fucked up that is.”

That’s so fucked up.
The end.

Get a Job

HOLY CRAP!

“Want a job you can really relish? Do you have an appetite for adventure, a friendly personality and boundless enthusiasm? Do you want to become a goodwill ambassador for Oscar Mayer, helping to organize promotions and even pitch TV, radio and print media? If the answer is “Yes”, you could qualify to be an official Oscar Mayer Hotdogger. Read on for all the juicy details.
…..As an Oscar Mayer Hotdogger, you’ll gain lots of experience that may come in handy for your future career. You’ll be trained to work with professionals in the fields of consumer promotion, marketing and sales; help organize and execute events; and even help pitch TV, radio and print media. And last, but not least, you’ll learn how to operate and maintain the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile”.

HOLY CRAP!
(thx Uri)