Probably the only famous Australian you can immediately conjure to mind has died. Sad, and sad.
UPDATE: So did the sales genius behind Ginsu knives.
UPDATE 2: For the next twenty years, the stingray will be inexorably linked, in the mind of pretty much everyone, to Steve Irwin’s death. But that’s the coolest thing about Steve: The stingray will be remembered for his death, but not villainized, because everybody knows he never would have blamed the animal. His gift was being able to convey his genuine goodwill to animals without seeming fake or preachy.
It is being reported that the police are in possession of the actual footage of the accident, and that it might have occurred because the animal was caught between Steve and the cameraman and felt threatened.
Author: Justin
WHERE’S THE BEEF?
HERE.
Just in time for my last-minute feeding on all things quintessentially nihon.
Here’s to the next million, and the next, and the next…
I’ve been waiting, patiently, for three years – it’s not just the don itself that I desire, it’s the ability to stroll into the little shop with the orange sign and cramped seating 24/7 and know that my little mound (read: ? and only ?) of heavenly stewed beef topped with a raw egg is instantly and inexpensively available for me, and only me, me, me. Okay, that last part is flexible, I’ll share with you, because you’re speeeecial. Let’s gyu.
UPDATE: On the other side of the spectrum lies shit beneath one’s contempt. Like a “Trout Burger“. That’s the most ironic fish-related term since “delicious bass.”
Just for the record, this article hit me hard because I am Rainbow Trout Nazi. I hereby proclaim the One True Way regarding preparation of rainbow trout: Lightly breaded and pan fried, drizzled with fresh lemon juice – this is because rainbow trout meat is inherently mushy. Wrapped in basil and watercress? Crispy miso? That sounds like a euphemism for shit-stained BVDs. Hey yo, fuck a trout burger. Seriously.
Little Tokyo News
Check it out: The face of Little Tokyo is changing
$820,000 for a 3-bed 2BR @ 1,226 square feet! That’s a stone’s throw from skid row, people!
Then again, there is the coming of a new high-speed wireless network, the annual celebration of Nisei Week, and the (pending approval of a liquor license) upscale titty bar, the Penthouse Club, to look forward to. (Joke: How many lapdancers can a city councilman fit on his lap? Answer: Shut up and suck this dick, bitch!)
Blessed are the gentle
I’m on lunch break.
My old pal Lenny just ambushed me out of nowhere with a Flaming Fist o’ Tuna Roll attack to the shoulder and caused me to spill iced coffee on my pants (in the crotchital region, of course). What made today’s attack unique was that he said, “I’m gonna KILL you!,” as he stepped in for the blow. (Coffee aside, the shit was pretty funny, because Lenny’s eyes get all googly and bulge out when he gets excited.)
A nearby coworker jumped to my aid and exclaimed, “Lenny! NO! BAD BOY! You can’t EVER say you’re gonna kill someone!,” and also added, “right, Justin?”
As I wiped the drops of coffee from my pants, which left brown gonorrheal smears across the fly, I hissed, “Lenny… I’m gonna fucking KILL you!”
And he ran away laughing hysterically.
Passing the Torch
My time is almost up; the next wave of invaders is already here. I have seen them on the streets and I hear them on the trains. I leave the future colonization of Japan in their able hands.
New Product Alert
First, an item that should prove immensely popular overseas:
JAPAN no kaori (“the scent of Japan”)
That’s right, it’s JAPAN branded toilet paper! Embroidered with the characters for “Takeshima” and “Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere,” using it will surely evoke visions of a glorious, chrysanthemum-scented future! Made with 100% sandalwood pulp.
…
Next up is the greatest thing since sliced mochi:
Sour cream in a tube!
Possibly taking their cue from Kewpie Mayonnaise, Nakazawa has replaced their line of tiny 130ml cups of sour cream with tiny 100ml tubes of the same! Brilliant!
(note: On closer inspection, the cup image I linked to is a 1 liter tub that I’ve never seen in stores, but it looks much the same as its smaller brother. Also, I always thought the mayonnaise-in-tube thing was strictly a Japanese phenomenon, but I encountered the same thing in Europe, albeit in wholly foil tubes, not plastic-covered foil.)
New Great White at MBA
My sister, who works at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, sent along the following press release:
“FOR THE 2ND TIME, MONTEREY BAY AQUARIUM
PUTS A YOUNG WHITE SHARK IN OUTER BAY EXHIBIT
Earlier success raised public awareness of threats, generated new funds for white shark research
For the second time, the Monterey Bay Aquarium has placed a young white shark on public exhibit, bringing him to Monterey on Thursday evening (August 31), 14 days after aquarium husbandry collectors caught the shark on hook-and-line gear off Southern California.
As in 2004-2005 – when another white shark was on exhibit for a record 198 days before her successful return to the wild – the aquarium hopes to keep him on long-term exhibit as a way to change public attitudes, and promote stronger protection for this magnificent and much-maligned ocean predator.
The young shark, a 5-foot, 8-inch male weighing 104 pounds, was brought north Thursday in a 3,000-gallon mobile life support transport vehicle. Caught several miles offshore in Santa Monica Bay, he had been held since August 17 in a 4-million-gallon ocean pen off Malibu and was observed feeding in the pen before he was brought to Monterey…”
Moscow Subway Photos
Jesus, I thought I’d seen depressing subways: Photos made in Moscow subway
Riding next to an armed soldier is probably a hell of a lot more effective than women-only subway cars, though.
T has a one of those triangle guitar-thingies balalaika at his house. It’s not that huge, though.
Blog: A Stupid Word
That I would post about such a common topic is itself ironic, but great displeasure forces my hand. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have come to the stunning conclusion that the word blog is stupid and needs to be replaced. My reasons for saying such?
-
- Mainly, it just sounds ugly. “I’m gonna start me a blaaaaaaaawg.“
- And it’s mama’s ugly, too: As we all know, blog itself stems from the word weblog, which isn’t really much to look at, is it?
- Pretty much any word stemming from the word blog is also horrible: Blogger, blogging, audioblog, blog client, blogging software, blogging platform, blog feed, BlogDay, blogroll, moblog, multi-blog, re-blog, vlogging, video blog, splog, blogspouse, blogfather, blogmeet, and last but not least, blogosphere – a wonderfully descriptive word that sounds absolutely ridiculous.
- Before becoming an abbreviated form of the word weblog, the word blog actually had another meaning (since 1959!)
- Is it any coincidence that blog is a four letter word? Think about it: “I’m gonna undress you, then I’m gonna blog your brains out ALL NIGHT LONG”
- When CNN starts using a trendy term every ten minutes, you know it’s time for a change (heard just this morning on CNN-I: “We will now hear what THE BLOGS have to say about it.” Give me a break, fucking.)
Unfortunately, alternatives such as “online journal” and “net diary” are also wretchingly wack. Therefore, I propose we, (the temporarily) blogging collective, use a new term to describe this pursuit.
Any suggestions?
SPF 16 (Thai Commercial)
It’s comforting to know there are some familiar points in the society into which I shall plunge: Slapstick, vampires, hot chicks on TV.
On the other hand, sometimes it is disturbing to see the whitening effect of various cosmetics pursued by so many in Thailand. You know what, though? I attribute this less to the perceived beauty of pale skin than to the fickle nature of the female species – you know, wanting straight hair when they have perms and vice versa. It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s also only natural, I guess.
(via Magnoy)