Basic Man FAQ

FAQ: How many men does it take to open a beer?
Answer: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
FAQ: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
FAQ: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
Answer: It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
FAQ: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
Answer: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”
FAQ: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
Answer: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
FAQ: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
FAQ: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
Answer: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
FAQ: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
Answer: A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
FAQ: I married a Miss Right.
Answer: I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
FAQ: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
(many thx to Osaka bill whose previous contribution, 25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP, was linked/used extensively, then was eventually translated into French and spread even further.)