We are Legion, or the Ts have already won.

– NOTICE OF BAGGAGE INSPECTION –

To protect you and your fellow passengers, the XSA is required by law to steal your wife’s panties and confiscate your house keys so you can’t get in when you arrive home from your 26 hour flight at midnight inspect all checked baggage. Your bag was among those selected for physical inspection (possibly because it contained used women’s undergarments).

During the inspection, your bag and its contents may have been searched for prohibited or tantalizing items. At the completion of the inspection, many of the contents were returned to your bag (albeit not in the orderly or sensible fashion in which they were originally packed). Also, we forgot to completely zip up the outside pockets so that stuff was falling out of it when it reached the baggage carousel. In addition, we forgot to replace the suitcase straps… Our bad!

If the XSA officer was unable to open your bag for inspection because it was locked, the officer may have been forced to break the crappy die-cast metal locks meant to keep out petty thieves and perverts on your bag. Our bad! We routinely invest in million dollar x-ray porn machines, but can’t afford a bent paper clip! XSA sincerely regrets having to do this, however, XSA is not liable for damage to your locks resulting from this necessary security precaution (because if we wanted to be accountable for our actions, we wouldn’t work for the government!).

We appreciate your understanding and cooperation.

Tasty Links for the New Year

In no particular order:

Smoke Screening
Charles Mann is shown by Bruce Schneier just what a joke our airport security has become and makes a case that “the continuing expenditure on security may actually have made the United States less safe.”

The disposable academic: Why doing a PhD is often a waste of time
Summary: Way more supply than demand, doctors.

List of animals with fraudulent diplomas
Surprisingly, this is not an alternate title for the previous link.

Best wedding photos ever
A full viewing of Shaun of the Dead would have made it the best wedding reception ever.

The Magna Carta Essay
Before the internet taught us that there’s no such thing as copyright or intellectual property, just how the hell did students finish their assignments?

Reconsidering Star Wars IV in the light of I-III
A “tongue-in-cheek alternative reading of the Star Wars saga”(link and quote from Kev)

The best spam to make it through my Gmail filters in recent times

It’s apparently Persian; I just think it looks cool. Reminds me of starting out in DTP straight out of Japanese university and learning how to lay out these texts running right to left.