This is me, holding my tongue

You know, it really shouldn’t be illegal to shoot a certain number of in-laws in one’s lifetime, say three or so. At the very least, dueling (between in-laws) should be brought back on a trial basis.
That is all.
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On second thought, it sucks to end on such a hopeful note, so here’s a photo of a plate of delicious bugs that a gardener gathered from our backyard forest and asked if I wanted to share for lunch:

Don’t mistake the ant eggs for grains of rice. Homeboy must have dug up an ant colony, among other things – Nam poked around it with a twig and a small dead frog emerged.

Front and center is a queen, I believe. To the left, a soldier tugs on a dead beetle thing. That’s as much as I’ll attempt with identification…. Mm-mmm!

These red ants grow to about half an inch long and when they bite, you can FEEL the pincers sinking in… When they crawl up your pant leg, it’s frantic monkey dance time.
Oh, as an afterthought I might as well admit that this fine meal was just…. too goddamn disgusting to try, even for me.

3 Replies to “This is me, holding my tongue”

  1. This is totally absurd. Where’s the proof of said gardener eating this bowl of bugs? I require proof, pretty please!
    This is a diet high in formic acid, but full of protein. And dead things.
    All you Raw Diet people out there, take heed at the Caveman diet which still exists in Justin’s back yard!

  2. He didn’t eat it in front of us – we bagged it up and made him take it home. He said it tastes good when seasoned with manao (Thai lime) and nampla (filtered fish sauce) and maybe some wild herbs. I’m telling you, it was the craziest dish I ever saw because the whole plate was a writhing mass of various organisms being pulled apart by the raging ants who were super pissed at having their colony uprooted. When I was bagging the meal up, one of the ants ran onto my hand and bit me between my index and middle fingers. Not only did it hurt, it left a scar!

  3. I wonder if ant bites contain any potentially theraputic usages, such as live bee sting injections for arthritis? Maybe you’ve been innoculated with something of value, and don’t know it yet. Or not.

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