Category: Web

Swimming to Catalina Island from the mainland is either stupid or insane, I can’t decide which. I mean, there are GREAT WHITE SHARKS out there and he’s worried about barracuda?
You will need a login/pass to view the LA Times article and video. Get it here.

An interview with Audioslave, just back from a huge concert in Havana is up at The Wave. Playing old Rage Against the Machine songs to 70,000 spectators sounds kinda like a recipe for revolution:
Township Rebellion
Rebel, rebel and yell
‘Cause our people still dwell in hell
Locked in a cell
Yes, the structure’s a cell
Mad is the story I tell
How long can we wait?
Come on, seein’ what’s at stake
Action for reaction
If your mind’s in a somewhat complacent state
Get a check up
This is a stick up
Our freedom or your life
Lord, I wish I could be peacful
But there can be no sequel
Now freedom must be fundamental
In Johannesburg or South Central
On the mic, ’cause someone should tell ’em
To kick in the township rebellion
And as far as the Soundgarden covers go, how about this:
Gun
I got an idea of something we can
do with a gun
Sink load and fire till the empire
reaps what they’ve sown
Shoot shoot shoot till their minds
are open
Shoot shoot shoot till their eyes
are closed
Push push push till we
get some motion
Push push push till the
bombs explode
I got an idea
We can do it
All on our own
Nothing to worry
Regret must weigh a ton
Kick kick kick till the
laws are broken
Kick kick kick till the
boots are worn
Hit hit hit till the
truth is spoken
Hit hit till
the truth is born
I got an idea of something
we can do with a gun
I wonder why they played such an uninspiring set… Maybe Fidel is just a big fan of “Bulls on Parade” and “Black Hole Sun” or something. Fucking bubblebum-pop commie bastard.

If Fox News Had Been Around Throughout History

“If you are near to this picture, Mr Angry is on the left and Mrs Calm is on the right. If you view it from a distance, they switch places!”
This is a pretty cool optical illusion. I just wish the faces could have been a bit easier to look at, but I guess attractiveness and androgeny are fairly mutually exclusive.
If you have a hard time seeing the illusion, there are better methods of viewing listed on the original site: LINK
(via linkfilter)

This is a well done fight sequence: LINK

Agnes Allen’s Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Army Laws: If it moves, salute it. If it doesn’t move, pick it up. If you can’t pick it up, paint it.
Barth’s Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don’t.
Bartz’s Law of Hokey Horsepuckery: The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.
Baruch’s Rule for Determining Old Age: Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and kick it into place.
Becker’s Law: It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.
Benchley’s Law: Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
Berra’s Law: You can observe a lot just by watching.
Bicycle Law: All bicycles weigh 50 pounds: A 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.
Boling’s Postulate: If you’re feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.
Bombeck’s Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Boren’s Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1. When in doubt, mumble. 2. When in trouble, delegate. 3. When in charge, ponder.
Borstelmann’s Rule: If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
Bralek’s Rule for Success: Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when things go wrong.
Brien’s First Law: At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.
Cannon’s Comment: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Captain Penny’s Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can’t fool MOM.
Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.
Character and Appearance Law: People don’t change; they only become more so.
Clarke’s Law of Revolutionary Ideas: Every revolutionary idea — in Science, Politics, Art or Whatever — evokes three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the three phrases: 1. “It is completely impossible — don’t waste my time.” 2. “It is possible, but it is not worth doing.” 3. “I said it was a good idea all along.”
Clarke’s Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Cleveland’s Highway Law: Highways in the worst need of repair naturally have low traffic counts, which results in low priority for repair work.
Clyde’s Law: If you have something to do, and you put it off long enough, chances are someone else will do it for you.
Cohen’s Law of Wisdom: Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power but only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.
Cole’s Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colvard’s Logical Premise: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen, or it won’t.
Commoner’s Three Laws of Ecology: 1. No action is without side-effects. 2. Nothing ever goes away. 3. There is no free lunch.
Cooper’s Law: All machines are amplifiers.
Dieter’s Law: The food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.
Displaced Hassle Principle: To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.
Ducharm’s Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough, you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
Dykstra’s Law: Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
Edelstein’s Advice: Don’t worry over what other people are thinking about you. They’re too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
Ehrlich’s Rule: The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Ettorre’s Observation: The other line moves faster. Corollary: Don’t try to change lines. The other line — the one you were in originally — will then move faster.
Farber’s Third Law: We’re all going down the same road in different directions
Finagle’s Laws of Information: 1. The information you have is not what you want. 2. The information you want is not what you need. 3. The information you need is not what you can obtain. 4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.
Finnigan’s Law: The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
//
This one, of course, is from osaka bill (we are now looking for syndication in Romania and Latvia; drop me a line if you are interested and non-mafia)

Go create a police sketch of your own.

What do you get when you cross South Park with Big Trouble in Little China?
Big Trouble in Little South Park, of course!
Long live the Porkchop Express!

This is straight out of Star Trek, right? The one that featured the Monterey Bay Aquarium, I believe.

Possibly the best cover of Baby Got Back (I hate that fucking song) ever made:
Thing a Week 5 – Baby Got Back
In the proud tradition of many white Americans who came before me I hereby steal and white-ify this thick and juicy piece of black culture. Watch for my album “Jonathan Coulton Sings Songs by Black People.”
I think I like this version even better that Richard Cheese’s. But RC’s Man in the Box still reigns supreme.