C. Buddha's Hasty Musings

Author: Justin

  • Hardly News

    So after 9/11, I signed up for e-mail updates from CNN for breaking news items – you know, back then it was impossible to get to major news sites and even the big newsbloggers were getting bogged down with traffic. I figured it was a good way to be kept kinda in the loop for major events, etc… It worked out kind of in that way, in that sometimes the e-mails would cover stories that we just don’t get coverage of in Japan, even on CNN International.
    The thing is, though, it sometimes makes me sad. Like today, the CNN Breaking News alert I received contained the following info only:

    The Pittsburgh Steelers win Super Bowl XL, beating the Seattle Seahawks 21-10 Sunday night.

    I may just be completely out of the loop, but hearing that just makes me want to say whoop-dee-fucking-do. Mind you, these News Alerts are not daily or anything, they only send them when “important” shit happens. So I guess Superbowl results now rate right up there with devastation of entire cities and American soldiers fighting and dying in foreign lands (actually, they stopped sending updates about the war over a year ago).
    I guess what I’m trying to say is: Priorities, bitches. In the grander scheme of things, individual sports competition results rank very low. Plus, anyone who didn’t already know the score by the time you sent the News Alert probably doesn’t give half a shit.
    It is Monday, and I have had my rant.
    ///
    It occurs to me that I could be told to simply opt out of the mailings. Believe me, I have tried…

  • Things I Learn from My Patients

    This one is dedicated to my baby sister, who is currently attending med school in sweet home Chicago. From the Student Doctor Network Forums, Things I Learn From My Patients.
    Highlights:
    – Latex paint, despite being thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide the same relief as pepto bismol.
    – Don’t road surf on the top of a moving stickshift car driven by your younger sibling with a learner’s permit.
    – Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.
    – To complement the above, “if you come in with a salsa jar in your rectum, don’t give the staff a fruit cake as a thank you present.”
    Heh.
    We have a good friend out in Nara who’s an OB/GYN. She always has interesting stories about women who come in with something or another stuck in one of their southernmost orifices. My favorite (albeit sad) story was the one about the woman who’s husband who wanted to play seduction master with a potato and then accused her of being “frigid” when he couldn’t get it out!

  • Bug eaters, every one of us

    Even if some of you care to try eating chocolate covered ants, fried grasshoppers, or more exotic insect delicacies in Thailand, be aware it probably won’t be your first time.
    Crushed female cochineal beetles, yum!

  • Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle

    Oxymoron: Escalade Hybrid
    I used to see how much work went into hybrid power systems every day – the R&D department used to be located right next to my office, until it got too big a couple years ago and moved into its own facility. And American car makers are just starting to see the light? Timbuk 3 this is not.
    GM – Late to the party and wearing floppy clown shoes.

  • Charlotte

    spidersnake.jpg
    That last post reminded me of this photo, which is from this site: Spider Snacks on Snake

  • friday, a day of gross perversion

    People are sending me teh nasty links today, so let me share the love:
    World Record Peristaltic Action
    You know what? The other links are so bad, I’ll just stop here.

  • Morning Sick

    Oh, the horror.
    This person deserves to be shat upon.
    Maybe it’s time for the Buddha to get together for a jam session. How about a new song? I propose the title:
    Somebody’s Going to Tentacle Rape Hell (Ain’t Karma a Bitch?)
    (Band/domain name vigilance provided by Adam)

  • Japanese Whaling

    Look, I understand both sides of the issue fairly well – on this issue there isn’t much middle ground to speak of – and I agree that Japan should at least abide by the treaties it has already signed.
    HOWEVER, claiming that the Japanese are hunting whales to extinction is just as dishonest.
    I’m just saying.

  • Cheap Cheap

    One of the great joys while shopping in Thailand is the bargaining – there is a definite art to it. One must find the equilibrium between getting the best deal on an item and becoming frustrated and looking like an asshole.
    In this context, an asshole is either a jerk using noobie bargaining tactics, or more commonly, someone who is expending copious amounts of time and effort for a negligible monetary return, i.e., battling it out with an old lady over a dollar difference on a twenty dollar purchase. Is a dollar difference worth sealing a deal but leaving one party with a sour taste in their mouth? Some people would answer with an unequivocal, “yes!” You are the people I do not want to go shopping with, because in the larger scope of things, that dollar means shit to you or me. Sure, it can buy you a whole meal or two there. I say, so fucking what. Who needs the meal more? Sure, sealing a sweet deal feels great – everybody likes to be a winner – but if you feel like an asshole for squeezing a street vendor for a few pennies, you most probably are.
    The flip side of being an asshole is being a sucker. If you don’t bargain at all, you are a sucker, and you are seriously missing out on some fun. Looking back, I now recognize that I used to take bargaining too seriously until I learned to enjoy it. Thai people are for the most part really fucking laid back and cool. Deal with vendors who return your smile, and everything will work out fine – don’t forget a lot of vendors are assholes, too, and want nothing but (A) your money and (B) for you to get your unintelligible ass out of their sight, ASAP.
    Like I said – it’s all about finding that equilibrium.
    This is not a sophisticated game like buying high-quality knockoffs in Korea; no layer cakes here. This is a simple exercise in basic bargaining:
    “How much for this?”
    “Can you give me a good price?”
    “How about ____?”
    ” No? What if I buy two/a dozen/____?”
    “Is that the best you can do?”
    “C’mon, meet me halfway!”
    “Thank you!”
    And that is the template for a basic bargaining approach. You will learn many others in your travels, grasshopper. But you will always return to the basics.

  • LSD con el Capitan

    I’m ashamed to say I actually have this song on CD.
    I guess this means I’ll be using Google Video quite frequently from now on.