Category: Society & Culture

As a wannabe chef, I might have thought about making a submission to the Carnival of the Recipes #3, a showcase for recipes from all around the blogosphere, but got pretty miffed when I saw the introduction at the top of the page:

This week, we have a lot of great recipes to choose from. I am adding a rule, though – The Carnival of the Recipes will not link to any recipes involving household pets or horses, I don?t care if you live in France or Korea!

I really do not want to offend the author of the page or start any shit, but I’m sorry – that’s sounds racist as hell.
I can understand people being uncomfortable with what is eaten in other countries. Perhaps your tastes different from, say, the Marmot’s. But to specifically name countries (okay, specifically Korea – I don’t give a fuck what anyone says about France anymore and yes that’s my own prejudice speaking) kinda puts people off I think – well, then again the author says she “doesn’t care” so maybe I’m raising this issue for naught… I guess I care. It sounds too much like a dismissal of foreign food and culture. That’s kind of ironic since the author claims that she loves that they “are getting recipes from people all over the world.” So we can pretty much define “their” worldview as excluding cultures that eat horses or animals that Americans consider “pets” (a challenge in itself – I’ve had friends back in the states with pet cows, chickens, fish, sheep, and pigs, among other “acceptable edibles”). I find this a shame, because I really would have liked to share a recipe in the Carnival forum.
Note: If the author ever reads this post (and why should she; I’m a proud fucking nobody!), please do not construe this as a personal attack. I think I know what you were saying; it wasn’t a big “fuck you” to the rest of the world but rather a statement of what you are comfortable with, and I can accept that. I just needed to point out that it sounded kind of harsh from my current station overseas.
UPDATE: Check the comments. I feel really bad about writing this post now, but it would be wrong to take it down. I thought about this for a while, then I replied to Beth and John by e-mail and apologized. My recipe is for humble pie, but I’ll be damned if I can make it the same way twice… The only constant is swallowing your pride first.

A most important question was asked in the comments of an older post today:
Does kimchi come in packets? As in, single-serving condiment-sized packets? And, if not, why not? (I suspect that a “single serving” of kimchi varies too greatly from person to person.)
Readers, especially those from the land of stinky fermented vegetables (no, not France – wrong veggies!), please help. I want to hear how the local Mc Donalds has started serving up double cheeseburgers w/kimchi like the way I described in the post linked to above.

Now we start with the real hurt; time to break out the industrial strength can of Smear. I predict a scandal with drugs, hookers, or some such felony will break soon. Some possible headlines:
Jenna and Barbara Sic Secret Service on Gay Rapper! As a Joke! While Stoned!
Teresa Heinz: Godmother of John Walker Lindh Urged Him to Fight
Curious George to Michael J: I’ll Watch Bubbles While You’re Gone, Baby
Kerry, “Just a Cool Guy,” Sucked Glass Dick with D12 Backstage, Says Eminem.
First Lady Owns Stock in Dutch Wife Co, Ltd.!
OK, this is obviously a work in progress, but you get what I mean. At some point, it stops being a choice between two candidates and becomes a shit-slinging contest… In the end, nobody emerges clean.

Lest anyone forget, we are at war:
One Enemy K.I.A.
It’s easy to forget the bigger picture when you get caught up in the bullshit pushed by mass media. Regarding the coming elections, the war is by far the most important issue in my mind. That said, we now return to our regularly scheduled broadcast.

MSDS. It stands for Material Safety Data Sheet, and those of you who don’t already know what it is aren’t missing out on much. An MSDS describes the chemical properties, hazards identification, first aid measures, accidental spill measures, storage and handling information, etcetera etcetera blahblahblahblah of a substance in uniformly boring detail (except the hand-scrawled ones from China, legal status of which is sometimes worrying, but which can be amusing from a “is there really a company called TIN DONG PLASTICS, Ltd.?” perspective). Anyway, when a new material is being evaluated for a product, the basic research starts with its MSDS to determine if it’s suitable. Some of you working in shipping departments may know what an MSDS is since it must be included when shipping certain substances.
So I was reading one of these documents today for a kind of synthetic material (let’s call it “Smaktophonium 57” for simplicity’s sake) I had to research, and came across the following:

SKIN:
In studies on albino rabbits, Smaktophonium 57 copolymers caused moderate skin irritation. Molten polymer causes thermal burns.

I’d like to believe they didn’t test that last part on the rabbits.

EYES:
In studies on albino rabbits, Smaktophonium 57 copolymers were found to be transient, moderate eye irritants.”

Well, that’s pretty fucked up. Bad karma, labdudes. I’m sure the rabbits would agree. But what I really want to know is, how the fuck do you tell if an albino rabbit’s eyes are irritated?

Yo! You in the white coat! Pass the visine already, fucker.

Growing up in Orange County, California, my parents must have taken me to Disneyland at least two or three times a year. I loved the hell out of the submarine ride, the Jungle Cruise, the Pirates of the Caribbean. Hell, I even remember at time when Captain E.O. was some impressive shit, and Star Tours – wow, when that came out, it kind of sent a big “fuck you” to all the other rides as far as sophistication goes. Yeah, I remember loving the Magic Kingdom even after we moved away to Ventura County (Camarillo and Ojai). Somewhere around high school, however, the thrill wore off. Perhaps I had overdosed on the experience, or maybe I just grew out of it. Today, I am an official Disneyland Hater. In California, as well as the vast majority of Japan, this is equivalent to being a grouchy old hermit. People cannot understand why I hate Disneyland (and I really hate it; last time I went there I almost punched out an obnoxious fucker who accused us of cutting in line in front of his kid).
Well, this may seem like a trivial thing to wrote about, but it got me to thinking again today when I saw this article (link picked up from Boing Boing):
http://www.miceage.com/allutz/al072704a.htm
The pertinent point is the fact that the Jungle Book staff no longer pack cap guns with which to ward off the angry hippo. I went to D-land at the end of last year for the first time in ages, so I could take my girlfriend (who is Thai and had never gone) and hang out with my younger cousins for a day. After the Nighmare Before Christmas-themed Haunted House experience was tainted by the “line cutting” incident mentioned above, I couldn’t help but notice the Politically Correct buttfuckery achieved at the Pirates of the Caribbean – wenches chasing pirates instead of the original, perhaps more believable and historically accurate, pirates chasing wenches (for the express purpose of raping, BTW) – and this was kind of laughable, since a lot of Californians are prude PC fuckheads and this type of shit is expected. But. When I saw that the Jungle Cruise had also fallen victim to the PC mindset, I nearly blew a gasket. For Christ’s sake, the cap guns were the high point of the whole fucking ride! I’m not the only one to think so, am I?
What the fuck could possibly be accomplished by deleting the climax of the Jungle Cruise? Why was it done? Are the lawyers afraid that some kid would go on a rampage with a single action reveolver, slaughtering innocent hippopotami, and then sue the park, or what? This is absolute epitome of lawyer bullshit!
My message to the idiots in charge of the park is as follows:
REARM THE JUNGLE CRUISE STAFF, ASSHOLES!
YO-HO YO-HO UNPUSSIFY THE PIRATES FOR ME!
AND BRING BACK THE SUBMARINE RIDE, IDIOTS!
If you can accomplish these three things, I will hate Disneyland a little less. And by “I,” I mean, “most of us.”
Update: Check out the Disney Blog.

The Montagnards are the Kurds of SE Asia:
Vietnam’s Tribal Injustice
I take that back. The Kurds have a home base and the means to defend themselves to some degree. Maybe they are only similar in the sense that everyone lines up to screw them over. I feel really sorry for anyone in the sights of Hun Sen. (Oh shit, there goes my chances for a backpacking visa…)

On the other hand, it’s NOT FUCKING OK to spit at Lance Armstrong just because he owns your second-rate competitors every year. Stupid fucks.
Update:

Yeah, fuck you too, you stupid ETA cunt. It’s not a fucking soccer game, show some fucking class already.

Every time I swear at the perfidy of the French government, I calm myself by remembering all my good friends in that country and the wonderful times we’ve had over the years.

In response to questions regarding the beauty of Nepalese women, Taro answered that you never really see Nepalese women in Nepal. They are traditionally kept hidden from view.