Speaking of cars, the new voice-controlled car navigation systems are a total fucking trip. A couple weeks ago, I caught a ride with a guy from work to an after-work enkai (drink up) in his new navi-equipped ride. I truly felt like a stranger, because he carried on a conversation with the in-dash navigation system, which he has dubbed Keiko, the whole way.
DRIVER (using destination input command): Keiko! Destination, Taiho (restaurant name), Route 28.
KEIKO (in sexy woman’s voice): Confirmed. Time to destination is approximately five minutes.
DRIVER: Keiko! Thank you.
KEIKO: You’re welcome.
Now this was pretty fucking geeky and I teased the fuck out of my coworker, asking him where he stuck his dick to receive a “lube job”, etc., but the best was yet to come:
KEIKO (as we approached town): Take the next right. By the way, do you like ice cream?
ME: WTF!!?!
DRIVER: Keiko! No.
KEIKO: Oh, okay then.
ME: What the fuck was that about?
DRIVER: She wanted to make us stop by the Baskin Robbins at Jusco.
ME: Doesn’t she know it closes at 10? Dumb bitch.
DRIVER: Shut up! You will respect Keiko, or you will walk!
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I fucking love technology, but it’s a curse I tell you. It’s eventually going to come to a point where humans no longer need each other, but by that time I hope to be long gone. My laptop is indispensable, but I draw the line at robot fellacio (in Japanese: robofela).
Raising a family in Thailand // Documenting Issan food, culture, music, and people
