Nam left for Thailand today, mostly to get things in line for the wedding. I hate coming home to a cold, empty house, so I’ve put myself to work choosing music for slideshows/videos to be shown during the wedding. I went upstairs and dug out most of my CDs and am now sorting through them – it’s been years since I’ve been through some of these binders and cartons. It’s fun, though. I’m sure it will turn out really well, too. I’m in perfectionist mode, so this might take a while.

In the following interview, Jennifer Lopez, star of The Wedding Planner (Sony Pictures, 2001), asks Cosmic Buddha about the specifics of his upcoming wedding in Thailand. J.Lo: Nice to see you again, CB. CB: Oh HELL YES. This is more like it. That other planning guy was killing me. J.Lo: Uh… O-K… Well, let’s get down to business, shall we? So far, I’ve only been told that you are holding the wedding in Thailand on February 18th of next year and planning a traditional Thai ceremony at your new house in the morning to be followed by a more traditional reception at a hotel in the evening. CB: That’s right,…

That was most likely not what Nam had in mind last night when she told me to think about the reception. Try again, Einstein.

Holy shit. In Thailand, you can apparently rent an elephant for around $30 a day. I assume I need to feed them a couple hundred pounds of monkeys or whatever they eat a day, as well, but still… I might just rent one for everybody so we can play bumpercars or something.

So our wedding is set for February 18th, in Nam’s hometown of Mahasarakham, Thailand. We will perform a traditional Thai wedding ceremony in the morning, to be followed by the reception at a nearby hotel in the evening. We are trying to arrange as much as possible by ourselves, because neither Marty Sheen nor Jenny Lopez are available to be my wedding planner, although they say they might drop by for the reception, if schedules permit. The morning procession consists of me and my entourage (cuz ahma gaaaaangsta) walking in a procession from one end of town to our new house. This is all I know from my limited research…

First of all, and most importantly, I have come to understand that a wedding is for the bride. Period. Now, I had heard this sentiment before, but didn’t put much stock in it because, hey, I’m psyched about our wedding, too. The thing is though, like most guys, I’m psyched about a lot of things – trying a new beer, having a good feed, sleeping in on the weekends. I look forward to all of these things and profoundly enjoy every new experience. I’m psyched that I found a used lens for my camera. I’m psyched that I’ve put my car through its last car inspection and I can now…

This is a public service announcement to all gaijin couples thinking of getting married in Japan. If you indeed choose to make this wonderful commitment in the Land of the Rising Sun, be forewarned that you will be asked to write your name on the wedding registration paper more times and in more ways than you can possibly imagine. This is mainly due to corrections made necessary by the confusion caused when two non-Japanese want to perform some official action normally only performed with at least one Japanese counterpart. Man, we ruffled the system up so badly they wouldn’t even let us get married the day we went in, they…

A couple hours ago, I sat here a happy man. I sit here again now even happier! We are married! There is much rejoicing in the streets of Sumoto! Next, the Wedding. Tentatively planned for next February. We’re thinking of a beach wedding in Thailand, and I, for once, am willing to deal with the yuppie resorts I usually detest… Somehow “wedding” and “private beach” just sound nice together. And now, we are off to a nice dinner together. Just like we have a thousand times before, but tonight is special. Thanks for all your blessings.