Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sick as a dog and thus...bedridden.

As a disclaimer, I'm super sick, can do nothing by lie down and so please bear with my ramblings.

So what I thought was a spontaneous case of allergies turned into a full blown sickness of dizziness, weakness, a closed-up throat and the inability to speak. They say that every time you get "sick", it's actually a different version since your immune system has the cure on backup if you encounter the same thing twice. Well, I'll make a mental note on this one version: the early symptom is excessive sneezing. I'm not joking. I probably sneezed like 30 times in one day! So beware!

I woke up with a horrible pain in my throat today and couldn't squeak out a sound without even more pain, so I was a mute. I planned on trying to stay warm in my pj's and in bed so that I could rest up, but instead I got a text message from my tech-savvy mother who reminded me that today was the last day for graduation photos. My first thought was ARGH. Do I really have to venture out today? Do I really have to get ready, put on makeup and brush my hair? But I figured that I had to do it for my only makes sense, right?

So I finally get ready and step outside in the freezing I will NEVER understand San Diego weather. Then I stand in line for over an hour to get my photos taken and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a frame for my diploma and graduation announcements. I can't believe how much money they make off of students, it's just so cruel.

Also, it's been one of those Panic Weeks. I tend to have these cycles where I don't worry about my future job(s) and career because I know I want to travel for a while...and then I panic because I have no solid idea of what I want to do with myself. I mean, I have some vague idea of what I want and definitely have ideas of what I don't want, but in the end, I'm lost. I know people that "it's normal," but it hasn't been as comforting lately. Especially when I'm surrounded by people who seem to know exactly what they're doing. I was hoping that I would have blossomed into that "young lady" that everyone in my family claims me to be, when really I'm scared that I've become a disappointment.

On a lighter note, things otherwise are the sense that nothing much has been happening. I'm on Associate status with AKPsi so I have a lot more time to myself, which is kind of weird since I feel no obligation to anything anymore. I've been living with my boyfriend of 19 months (along with 3 other roommates) and it has been interesting, to say the least. I know it sounds shocking but trust me, we didn't plan for it. It wasn't our initial plan and a lot of my fears of "what could happen" did happen, but what I didn't expect was that we'd work through them and come out knowing each other better (maybe even more than we may have wanted.). I'm not gonna lie, I can be a total brat sometimes, stubborn and irritable, but he knows how to handle me now; he doesn't let me get away with being a brat but he knows that he's not the problem and comforts me in the most surprising ways.

On the topic of relationships (and in no way am I hinting on my behalf), Gina is getting married in September! She is the first of us high school friends to get married so I will be attending my first real wedding of a true friend with many other friends. It is so exciting and so...grown up! I know it sounds dumb, but it's almost bizarre to think that we are of marrying age. And when we have kids?!? Just nuts, I tell ya.

Anyways, I'm starting to feel tired, so I shall...retire. Hah. Delirious, I tell ya.


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