Weekend Getaway

...with my girls! Saturday was Cassie's graduation party and I was happy to be able to make it. Kat picked me up to go to Oceanside where Cassie's new house is at. On the way, we picked up our favorite Linda from the train station who managed to buy a whole new outfit while waiting for our lagging butts. The train station is only 15 minutes from Cassie's house but we managed to somehow get lost and take a whole hour instead. But that's okay, if I'm going to get lost there's no one else I'd rather get lost with than these two girls who don't know where we're going.

We finally arrived at Cassie's and it was such a nice house! Just the right size with a great backyard that had a pool and firepit. I don't think I've been in the pool for that long since I was like 12, lol.


Brian found a lizard...and a frog.


<3 My Freshman girls.



We had a slumber party that night...as in we slumbered during the party, haha. We went to bed pretty early as Kat kicked Linda out of her bed.

The next day we went down to the Harbor to get smoothies but ran out of time so instead we dropped Linda off at the train and found a really good Crepes place. I don't usually like crepes, but this place was delicious! O_O I am drooling just thinking about it! I should have taken a picture, darn.

After that, we walked on the pier before heading back down to La Jolla.

And as of this morning, I received my contract for the internship in Cebu, Philippines. O_O Making me nervous! I'm set to leave early October.

P.S. Everyone should start a blog so I can keep up with you all! =)



July 18th, 2008
The Perfect Day

Despite my mini-meltdown, I am enjoying my summer. Today was basically a perfect day being active, eating well, random moments, constant laughter and basically having fun.

It's a luxury I won't have for much longer, but these days, it's nice to have absolutely nothing to do. And I'm not the only one; we have a good group of people who also have nothing to do. We have so much of nothing to do that we have to spread out our plans so that we actually have something to do each day.

Because today was that great, I'm logging it here so that I can remember (because everyone knows how my memory is).

My parents spent the night last night and despite having an uncomfortable sleep on the lumpy couch, we woke up early to get breakfast together. I took them to Hash House in Hillcrest because I knew they'd appreciate the large portions of "healthy" food.




We came back, packed up some stuff and went on their way back home.

I then had another gap of nothing to do. So I called my surfing buddy and we went...surfing. Or at least tried; it was really choppy and/or I'm just really terrible at it still. I've reached a plateau in my progress with surfing and it's really frustrating. My knees and legs are all banged up and bruised from getting up on the board.

After that, we decided to have a barbecue to finish off some of the frozen meat we had in the freezer. Just a hint, a great recipe for chicken breast is to coat it in oil and season with garlic salt and chili pepper. No joke! That's it! It was so juicy and delicious! I only brag because it's true! On the other hand, our beer and lime recipe was a fail. Don't do it, it ends up tasting like nothing but chicken. Add in some mint icecream sandwiches, a stuffed monkey and some good timing and you've got 20 minutes of solid laughter.

PB was next on our list of nothing to do, so we quickly cleaned up and went down to celebrate a birthday. Tonight was just so random and crazy as I ran into not one but TWO high school people. One I used to be really good friends with in 2nd grade and haven't really spoken to since and the other I haven't seen since high school It was a very much welcomed run-in. I also saw a Singapore friend and it was nice to see someone from that era. Tonight was a blast from the past like whoa.

Even though we swore off PB Bar and Grill, I actually had a lot of fun. Terrible dancing and mimicking are always a recipe for good times. Honestly, people who take themselves too seriously while dancing don't realize that they'll be our next victim. People gotta let loose and just have fun! Don't try and look too seductive or try too hard in general...everyone can tell!

Anyways, tomorrow is Nordstrom's huge sale so we'll see what's up if I wake up in time. Peace, Love and Happiness!




July 17th, 2008
Clutch

So it's pretty much decided: I'm going to the Philippines. I haven't signed the papers yet, but by emailing the internship coordinator to "check in," it has made me mentally commit.

On the good news, I'll be doing a 2 month stint and if they like my work I'll stay for another 6 months. Worst case scenario is that I'll have a 2 month test and then bail if I really can't handle it. So until I leave for that side of the world again, I feel like I'm stuck in transition. I'm floating between two worlds, just waiting to shift to the next gear. Until then, I really just need to tell myself to CHILL OUT and relax.

Today I had a mini freakout for various reasons, none of them really new or interesting. I guess the process of actually moving out really hit me hard about having to decide what to do and where to go. Having my parents come down shows me how I'm different and yet the same and either way I'm not comfortable with it. Not having the boy around as my reliable best friend has made me question our future as a couple. How are two people supposed to maintain such a close intimacy over 10-11 months being worlds apart? How will I maintain the friendships I have here?

So many different paths to be taken and I'm terrified I'm going to pick the wrong one.

I can't seem to explain this to anyone because everyone says, "Don't worry, you'll be fine." And I understand those words, I do. I understand the intent behind them, but their soothing effect has lost any influence over me. I need something more to really feel secure and those words don't help in the least.

I'm trying to shift gears, but I feel like I'm stuck on a hill.

post-move test

this is a test

Chris

I just met with my neighbor, Chris, for some coffee and catch-up. We've always introduce each other as "my neighbor, Chris/Kristen" but to extend his title, he's been my longest childhood friend, the brother I never had and real family. We've always been neighbors, but not always friends. I met him in kindergarden, on the bus, and little did I know that he lived across the street! We took the bus together, carpooled, walked home and had younger siblings who were also the same age. We played Treehouse, rode around on bikes, rollerbladed and played almost every day. Every time it was time to go to another school we had to fight rumors of being boyfriend and girlfriend. That was really annoying.

By the time we entered high school together, we started avoiding each other completely. We went through changes, phases, and basically stopped talking because we pissed each other off. But once we graduated, there was a slight change. I went off to UCSD and he went to community college.

Nowadays, it's become apparent that we've come a long way since Kindergarden. We pick up like no time has passed, and no words can describe my appreciation for such friendship. It's transgressed friendship, it's just family now. Real family. People you just can't seem to get rid of despite your disagreements. I hope I can have more Chrises in my life. =)

Alone

I'm alone in the apartment for the first time. I don't remember ever having to sleep here by myself and while it sounds pathetic, I've grown accustomed to having the boy around. Even if we weren't being "couple-y" by watching tv together or cooking or something else so ordinary, I like knowing that the creaks and quiet sounds of the place are being caused by another person and not blown out of proportion in my imagination. I guess this applies to people in general. Following the same theme as the post before, I just enjoy human company. We don't have to be talking all the time, but I don't like being alone for more than just a few hours. It gets...well, lonely. And I'll be honest, I get a bit scared being here all by myself. I know nothing is going to happen but still...I'm wary.

Anyways, I'm glad the boy is off to Vietnam. It sounds extremely exciting for him and while it makes me ache to know I'm missing out on something that will be so life changing for him, I know that we each need to do things on our own for a bit. Not that I want to, but I know I should.


I dropped him off at the airport and the parking was so confusing and time was so short that we were just flustered with our goodbyes. Public affection is not something I am comfortable with so these important hugs and kisses made me feel even more vulnerable and exposed. Oh well, I guess I should be more comfortable with showing affection? I'm too tired to think of a moral to this story.

Congratulations, Boy! Have a safe trip!

Getting Closer to being Farther

While it felt like things were just getting started, things are also starting to wrap up, I can feel it. The boy will be leaving tomorrow and one by one everyone else will part ways. While I do not like having attachments, I do enjoy them while they're on a good run. Interpret that however you want, but I hope my good connections don't disappear.

When I look at my life's goals, I know I've always wanted to travel and live abroad, but that was with the assumption that I wouldn't be alone. I don't get homesick, but I miss having good friends and company to share experiences with. If home is where the heart is, then I guess I do get homesick when I don't have the people I care about around me. I wish I could bring just one or two good friends with me wherever I go. If not, I'd be happy with the assumption that we're still good friends when I return. Either way, I take it hard when I feel like relationships and friendships are pulling apart.

This wasn't meant to be a slightly sad posting, but I guess it will have that tone for now.

In related news, I am very close to accepting that internship abroad.

::drum roll::

It will be in Cebu, Philippines at a film production company, Bigfoot Entertainment. I originally wanted to work on Fashion TV Asia, which they also direct, but unfortunately there is no business side to that...just filming and editing, that sort of thing. While I'd love to learn about it, I do not know if that's what I want to do as a career. Instead, I may be going into their marketing department and work on marketing for the movies they make instead, which is also very exciting to me. Also, Cebu is supposedly beautiful with tropical beaches and such, something I've always enjoyed being around.
My main concerns are:
1. Safety. I've grown up with the idea that the Philippines is extremely dangerous, next to Indonesia. I'm currently gathering information on the safety of that particular city by internet research and emails to current interns. Anyone know anything about the place? My family will not be excited to hear this.
2. 6 month commitment. Unfortunately, I can't start the internship until October as I have a dear high school friend's wedding to attend. Many people have suggested that I skip the wedding, "She'd understand," and I know she would, but I know I would forever regret not attending my first wedding, and that of a high school friend! It'll be the first of us high school friends to be married, how can I miss out on that? Despite the confliction, I know I won't regret attending. The problem with waiting until after her wedding is that I am also applying to the JET program to teach English in Japan. The 6 months overlaps into the interviews that I need to attend in the US, my "country of citizenship." There are no exceptions. This means that IF I am granted an interview, I will have to fly back for a few days just to attend an interview. Very expensive. =( Please help donate to the Kristen Fund.
3. Being lonely. Again, I've never really gotten homesick, but company is what I need...

Anyways, for the few readers I may have, any words of wisdom? I'm a bit jumbled with how I feel about everything happening so quickly.

Mactan, Cebu, Philippines

The First Wave

Ever since high school, I've had it engrained in my mind that surfing was not something I could do. So it's typical I've gotten hooked onto surfing right when I'm about to leave San Diego, right when my car has died, and after I've given all my surfboards away. Don't get the wrong idea; I'm definitely not shredding up huge waves or doing fancy tricks, but I'm standing on a board that is on moving water. That sort of coordination required is a very big accomplishment for me: someone who is clumsy, unathletic and swims like a rock (as in, I sink). I've always been a fearful of deep water, the ocean, sharks and drowning and so imagine my surprise when I find myself wanting to go out more and more.

My first wave standing was surreal. It sounds cheesy, but it was. I felt like I was standing so high and floating above everything else. The board doesn't really touch where you see the surface of water since a wave is carrying you higher, so it feels like you're floating above the water. It's very strange but exhilarating. I guess it feels like an accomplishment because even though I tried surfing in high school, I failed miserably. Maybe it was because the waves were too rough, or the board was too big, or I was too weak, or was taught incorrectly, but I had accepted that surfing was just not for me.

This time, my teacher taught me in a very simple but effective way. The key thing is to keep balance and arch your back. I'm not kidding! And, he said, that you have to commit to whatever you're doing, which speaks in great volumes. If you hesitate at all, the wave will either chew you up or pass you by. And of course, I had to see this metaphorically with life in general.

Anyways, I will always remember my first successful wave but now my excitement lies in the next. I've been cruisin' Craigslist for cheap boards and wetsuits so if you happen to know of any, let me know. =)

Test

This is the ghost of Tom Joad. Lorem Ipsum.

The OC

I've been up since 5:59AM (without the help of an alarm clock) and it is a beautiful day in Fountain Valley, Sunny California. I had been hoping that we could go surfing this morning, after all the weather is gorgeous and the beach is close, but the lack of transportation is still proving to be a problem.

Despite that, within less of one week, I've accomplished eight goals I've had listed for my summer:
1. Surf
2. Rock Climb
3. Kayak
4. Yoga
5. Wake up early
6. Use less internet
7. Meet new people
8. Eat good food

Doing these activities has shown me not only that despite being terribly unathletic, I still have muscles that were previously unused and neglected. For rock climbing, I used my forearm muscle so much, I couldn't even squeeze a lemon. I had no idea I used my forearm muscles to do so much! Opening car doors, pushing things open, sqeezing lemons...lol. For surfing, my arms got a greater workout than any amount of curls I could do with them in the gym. So much paddling and trying to push myself up on the board really worked them! I also got a huge bruise on the top of my foot from trying to pop up. I've Kayaked before, but not for so long (2 hours). Add a strong breeze and trying to paddle against the current has worked my shoulders and back. And Yoga was interesting...in the sense that I liked it the least out of all the activities. Not because it was easy and boring, but because it was difficult and boring. I don't know how they can do exercises on their toes the whole time but that's what it felt like! I'm glad I went because I've always wanted to try it and I got a free LuluLemon yoga mat out of it!

I'm not going to lie, my body hasn't hurt like this since I went snowboarding for the first time (still not as bad as that) but in that very satisfying way. This past week has been the lifestyle I had always hoped to have as far as being active, waking early, sleeping well, being in good company and feeling better overall. Even just sitting here makes me itch for more. I hope I can maintain this type of lifestyle when I get back to San Diego, but really, having no car has really made things frustrating. The offer to live in the OC has also been very tempting. My uncle offered me to stay at their place for the summer and beyond if I had wanted, but again, it's the lack of car that would prove impossible to do so.

I've always enjoyed my trips and visits to "The OC"...there's really everything you would want and need within short distances of each other. And furthermore, it's affordable. While I know I could do many of the same things in San Diego, the difference is the price tag. Honestly, kayaking at La Jolla Shores is $45 for two hours vs. $15 at Sunset Beach. Renting a surfboard for a week is $45 through UCSD vs. $30 in Huntington. The many restaurants far surpass what Convoy can offer and at more friendly prices.

Anyways, there is no real theme or insight to this entry...I just wanted to recount my time here. After reflecting a bit on the drive home, Irvin pretty much said it perfectly:

"I could live in the OC."

Graduation

I am officially an alumni of UCSD! I have that sense of bitter sweetness that everyone talks about. During graduation, it was hectic, exciting and ridiculously HOT. I honestly don't know how the earlier graduations did it. From listening to a French woman try and pronounce our names to cheering on our friends to sweating through our nice clothes, it was an experience I'm glad I didn't skip out on. I even forgot my ticket before I went up! Oh, and apparently I'm a Linguistics major because someone got out of line and messed up the whole thing. -_-

My sister and Irvin were my photographers for the day...thank you! Here I am hamming it up for my sister.

I decorated my cap with fake orchids and rhinestones that spelled out "<3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_C5Yn9BtnIIc/SGAEnhEd2LI/AAAAAAAAAPI/mwt_afEg8bs/s1600-h/n3302955_38667240_8552.jpg">I was so surprised to received so many flowers! Honestly, thank you so much, everyone!

Irvin: Thank you for the huge bouquet of beautiful pink and purple flowers! I love those huge lilies!

Sirena: Thank you for more lilies, I love them!

SurYeon: Thanks for the paper-wrapped purple flowers! They were so pretty and I love how they're wrapped in paper.

Audrey: I LOVE Gerber Daisies! Thank you, they're always so cheerful!

Family: Thank you for the yellow rose and beautiful Leis!

Here are a couple of my favorite photos with my favorite girls...I'm still missing a lot of photos since Jeanine has them on her camera.


Yay, I finally got to wear that white dress Mom bought for me 3 years ago! And I wore my new heels...I love them!


Dinner was at Blue Coral, which is a super nice restaurant and had delicious sea bass. I actually went in to check it out for Smith Barney and thought it looked much too nice for someone as broke as me to dine in.

They even made personalized menus for our dinner! I never felt so special. Thank you family! I will probably post more photos once I get them from Nina. Thank you everyone! It was a great day.

I'm Savoring It

So this is it; I'm taking the moment to absorb my very state of being before I take the plunge, the plunge of reality and what I've been prepared for since at least 7th grade.

I remember that very moment, where someone came into my classroom and started talking about the importance of grades for college acceptance and future careers. I thought at the time, "This is so crazy that they're telling us this when we still have 10 years to being real adults!" And yet look at me now, I still feel like I'm that same child in 7th grade. I've grown a lot, learned a lot and made a few great friends along the way, but I'm still making my way through that path that seems to change almost every hour of every day.

Today, I agonized about how I wanted to decorate my cap. Silly, right? But it did mean a lot to me. I hope my parents like it. I even took the care to wear a certain dress for graduation that my mom absolutely loved and bought for me 3 years ago. Never did I have the chance to wear it; it's just short of a wedding dress so until that special event, I figured graduation was the best chance I had to wearing it.

My shoes? The colorful ones. I don't know why, but everything about graduation seems have become this...big deal. I wasn't really thinking about what to wear or what to say on the day, but being surrounded by everyone talking and questioning has got me going. I have my dress, shoes, and cap ready to go but...where am I going?

I just don't want to be a disappointment and that idea is truly one of my biggest fears. Mom, Dad, I hope I can make you all proud.

So in 14 hours, I will be sitting with my class of Sixth College for the last time. I have such a hard time with finality and I hope I don't get too teary. I just want to enjoy tomorrow...er, today. Okay, I better get some rest...the big day is already today.

Time is Flying

Well, it's been a good week and it's been more than I can ask for! I finally finished my last of the last of schoolwork/tests/papers and, again, didn't get to appreciate the finality of it all...but then again I was busy finalizing my papers and such.

Friday: AKPsi After Finals Afterparty with the theme of 40 Hands and S Party?? I tried to go as a snowbunny but apparently everyone though I was a surfer. Mission: FAILED. Irvin went as Sesame Street, hahaha.

In other news, Duke Chao bit me in the leg. HARD. Don't ask me how but one moment I'm sitting cross-legged, the next his massive jaws are clenched on a chunk of my thigh, the next James Min is cruelly pinching the bitten spot and after I was just curled up in a sad spot.

Saturday: Heather's Birthday Celebration! I went shopping in PB with Cassie and Heather and while I was able to refrain from purchasing this interesting white dress with mesh sections, we found Heather two amazing birthday dresses! Mission: SUCCESS!

Later that night, we went to Belo. Even Shalane and Peggy came out! =D


Sunday: Grad Night at Envy. Very nice place! We took a cab to and from. I'm too tired to write right now. More photos on Facebook, of course.


Monday: Getting bored. I'm starting to get bored at this point because I thought that more Seniors would have stayed in San Diego for this week before graduation before everyone left forever. Strange, pretty much everyone left! =/

Tuesday: Went out to lunch with Jean...and played THIRD WHEEL! Lollll

Wednesday: Day at the Bay! Went with Jean and came back with Kat. I <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cosmicbuddha.com/kris/uploaded_images/IMG_2145-797851.JPG">

Thursday (Today): More shopping in PB for graduation dresses and such. All Campus Graduation Celebration and then Will's Birthday celebration at Bar Dynamite. Pretty cool dig.

*And in more exciting new: I have a very good chance at landing an internship for after September. The lady called me today and I had a really good talk with her. I don't want to jinx it by saying too much, but it's very exciting for me. Keep your fingers crossed !

**Also, here is how my leg looks NOW, a WEEK later:

Disgustinggg. You can practically see his molar imprints!

Skills Needed

I need to learn how to sew well and sew fast so that I can just make whatever I want to wear instead of wanting to go buy it. I am a slave to fashion. Why???

Dumbass

This whole time I've been thinking that my huge research paper was due Friday. I found out today that it's actually due Wednesday. I have 2 pages out of 15 done so far. x_X

Skipped a Step

I have been planning to savor the very last moments I had left in my college career and yet amidst my sickness and cancelled class and acting class, I missed out on appreciating my last class. I miss it. I MISSED MY LAST COLLEGE CLASS. I didn't miss it in the sense that I wasn't there, but mentally, I wasn't able to savor it like I had planned. See, I don't have class on Fridays and my morning lecture on Thursday was cancelled...so technically, my last class was my Acting class, which I don't consider a real lecture.

Man. So I keep trying to rewind and see which class I would consider my "last class" and I guess it would have to be my INTL 190 class...which is also a small seminar class. But I didn't get to applaud the professor at the end, so really, my last lecture class was ironically, CAT 125. I find that comforting in a way I can't explain.

While I dislike much of UCSD and its administration, I do love Sixth College. I love the small little "cabins", the huge lawn in the middle where girls are always sunbathing and guys are always tossing around a ball. There's even the occasional mud soccer game. I met some of my favorite people there and that's something I can't hate UCSD for.

Thinking back on my best college decisions, I would have to say that these actions changed my life:
1. Being rejected from UCLA
2. Being placed in Sixth College
3. Pledging Alpha Kappa Psi
4. Studying abroad in Singapore

Maybe one day I'll blog about my experiences with each. Until then, this is just a reminder for myself.

Comfort Food

So being sick, I don't have as much energy as I would like. This also means I'm less inclined to feed myself because it's just so much less energy to remaining lying down. Boy was kind enough to go buy more packages of Mabo Tofu because it used to be one of my favorite meals in Singapore. But not ONLY is he making me Mabo Tofu, he's also steaming the rest of my Okra! I LOVE okra (Daanish, you still owe me that meal!) and the fact that he though of using the rest that was hiding in the freezer and cook it the way my mommy cooks it made me so happy. Food really hits home with me. Mmm, okra with shallots...I'm drooling already! =D

Sick...again...???

WHY am I so prone to sickness? I swear, if it were up to natural selection, I'd be so gone. -_-'

The First Step Out

This past weekend served to be the first of many realizations that I am graduating. Saturday was the last pledge banquet I would ever attend as a college student. Sunday, I took my graduation photos and attended what would be my last GBM as an active.

I am officially demitted.

I knew this happened every quarter to graduating seniors and I knew I was going to demit, but it was just so strange having to search for my sunglasses right before I left for GBM. It was sad and I had that heavy feeling you get when you're about to cry, but strangely I did not cry as much as I had at previous demittings. I don't know why. Maybe it was because there was so much going on. Maybe it was because so many of us had already graduated and left. Maybe it was because it still hadn't really sunk in. I don't know why, but I still feel so...heavy.

Usually, after I have a good cry, it's sense of catharsis; I have a huge weight lifted and I can move on. But in this case, this sense of graduation, of leaving what has become my home and family for the past 4 years is just being bottled up inside and I have not been able to have a good cry over it yet. It's just getting heavier by the day. I guess it's normal to feel confused and mixed up about how I should feel and how I do feel. Right?

Massive Update #2

Wednesday 5/21/08: I had a massive midterm due that was very misleading at first. It was for my international studies course and it was two essay prompts that were only 3-4 pages each, but so full of content that it was hard to contain within 3-4 pages. o_O. It took me until 6AM. Definitely not enjoyable. Later that night, I went to GRaIN meeting which was great because I haven't been able to make them on Tuesdays. After THAT, I went to see Indiana Jones with Kat, Cassie, Linda, Charlene, Ronnie and Eric. I almost fell asleep during the previews because I was so tired. But I thought it was entertaining overall; I think they knew that they couldn't make Indiana Jones as good as the older ones and kind of made fun of itself. I thought it was well done!

Thursday 5/22/08: I don't remember...but I do remember that I spent all morning on the phone with my credit card company. I am officially a victim of identity theft! How??? =(

Friday 5/23/08: Work Lunch and Alpha Kappa Psi Formal Banquet
Today was really nice because my FA's took me and Jeff (the other intern) out for a lunch at Venice, this Italian restaurant downstairs of our building. It was kind of sad to leave but really nice to know how great my experience with them have been:

And the obligatory group photo at lunch.

AKPsi's banquet was tonight and I was kind of scrambling for a dress because I forgot there was a black/white theme but I ended up wearing this white dress I bought like...a year ago and just never wore because I look like...a fairy.
Some of my favorites, up above. =]

Saturday 5/24/08: Delta Sigma Pi's Formal Banquet (@ the San Diego Zoo!)
DSP's banquet was the next night...man, having fun get tiring, lol. Of course I ran into the lack-of-dress problem again and ended up borrowing Janice's dress. I liked the color soo much. It's cheesy, but I like wearing green with leafy earrings to the zoo *teehee*. ^_^v

Anyways, not to knock on AKPsi's banquet, but having it at the zoo was pretty awesome. We got to go around and look at all the animals for a couple hours before going to banquet (open bar, too).
We waited for a while for this guy! Some people at the front of the line spent like, 5 whole minutes taking a video of this dude just eating bamboo. We were like, DUDE, there's a line back here! Mannn...talk about impatience.

Our prom picture...I forgot to put my heels on for this, hah. I actually wore white heels that put like 3 foot pads in...EACH! They were pretty killer.

Mmm giiiirl(s)! Randi and Kristel. <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cosmicbuddha.com/kris/uploaded_images/n3302955_38329994_5098-749847.jpg">And of course, the roomie picture! Freakin' Irvin had to stand in the middle of course. I like how we're symmetrical though, haha. Not planned!

There was a certain drink that because of me, was the drink of the night! It was the bartender's favorite drink (I asked him what it was) and it was a ______________ Sour. I forget the first part of the name. =( But it was really good! Some kind of Italian Liquor. Let me know if anyone remembers.

Anyways, it was fun though me and Irvin called it an early night...still tired from the night before. I'm getting old, I can't stay up past 1AM these days!

Sunday 5/25/08: Day of Rest and library attempt
Yes, basically, we were going to be ambitious and do Sea World, but we were too tired. So we slept in and went to the library later in the afternoon/evening. I checked out 19 books for my research paper! T_T

Me and Irvin were so hungry after the library, but we wanted home cooked food. We made a run to 99 Ranch for the first time in..."forever" and ended up buying random mixes and foods. We went home and I made chicken-katsu! Mmm, I have to admit, it was really good. It was chicken-katsu, steamed okra, mabo tofu, and rice. Mom would have been proud! Kat, Pei, Connie and Bobby even came over to share. Food is always so much better with good company!

Monday 5/26/08: Sea World
Yay, so finally we went to Sea World today and spent a whopping 4 hours there. I was really excited to see the shows and ride the rides, but midway got really tired (again). I was pretty satisfied will seeing the main dophin show and Shamu show. They ARE pretty amazing animals!

As you can tell, Irvin is very excited to go to Seaworld as well. =]

Yay, real dolphins (as opposed to UTC dophins)!

Did I ever mention how I loved seeing flamingos when I was a kid? I don't know why, maybe I was just giddy at how pink they are. In reality, they kind of smell... =/

And the star of the show: Bubbles! They said that she was 37 years old! Crazy, huh?

*Note: I was also going to try and attend this party in LA at Houdini's Mansion, but it was too far and tiring to do so..."next time."

Tuesday 5/27/08: Baking and Cooking with Adam
After my long day, Adam came over and we baked two sets of cookies, a package of brownies and even made green curry for dinner! Very ambitous for me to cook...and twice within one week!

Here's Adam, the Muffin Man.

Green Curry, my favorite!

Thanks, BFF! And being the good associate I am, I went to GBM and brought some curry and cookies there. ::pat on the back::

Wednesday 5/28/08: Sunbathing Wednesdays!
Again, Wednesdays are fun because of my girls. We just hung around and chatted with random people, AKPsi people, etc. Laying on the lawn was sooo relaxing...wish I didn't have to go to class.


INTL 190 was actually kind of exciting today because a woman who's been living in Burma came to speak to our class. She showed some really tragic photos of what's going on over there, like decaying bodies that have been left out for weeks because there's just not enough resources to even move them. I'm hoping that GRaIN will be interested in getting involved. I have high hopes!

Thursday 5/29/08: TODAY
Today was actually pretty chill! I woke up and realized that I had to type up something for Acting, so I did that in a rush while studying for my Photography midterm. Took the midterm, ended early and had Acting canceled for the day. I went to Smith Barney and dropped off cookies that I had baked with Adam (the brownies turned ROCK HARD!) and just chatted for a little bit. I'm kind of sad that I won't be able to visit as much because I'm so much more comfortable now, but hopefully I'll be able to keep in touch. Afterwards, I went to lunch with Cassie (Croutons, mm) and Yogurtworld with Bobby.

Unfortunately, I lost my phone...again. =( I had that phone for a while, I feel like! Sigh...

I didn't plan for it, but I ended up going to PB with Kevin and Irvin...who were twins for the night:

I DDed of course, lol. Freakin' Kevin was running on empty, I was afraid that his car wouldn't make it back home! Anyways, moral of the story is: I'm a good friend...I could have totally hidden his car somewhere and locked him out of his apartment and I didn't.

Massive Procrastination leads to Massive Update

I know I'm procrastinating my research paper when I've resorted to doing laundry, taking a shower, and washing my makeup brushes within a few hours of tonight. Now I'm going to update on my past couple weeks as I've neglected to document my last few weeks of college. (Que panic)

Tuesday, 5/13/08: Duel Birthdays and No Finished Gifts
Today was both Cassie and Shian's birthdays. I every year I run into this situation and this year I'm proud to say that I made BOTH birthday events/dinners. Shian's birthday dinner was at this cute restaurant in downtown La Jolla where I bought her the "strongest drink you have" (aka Long Island Iced Tea) and got her adequately intoxicated.


I then rushed to Cassie's dinner which was ridiculous because there was a spectrum of people from her life all at one table. It was pretty interesting, really, and even the Boys-from-upstairs showed up! It's nice to see how some things in life are still constant, especially with people.



Wednesday, 5/14/08: Sunny, Social Day with a Scattering of Dance
I always try to reserve my Wednesday breaks for my 1st year girls: Cassie, Kat and Linda. Those two hours between 1pm and 3pm are one of the highlights of my entire week! That day happened to be extra special because a.) the weather was gorgeous, sunny and perfect. Just how San Diego SHOULD be! b.) I was with my girls c.) we ran into many other friends during those few hours! Oh, how I'll miss PC. Though, I won't be missing the moment where pledges run up and greet me in front of my non-affiliated friends. Awkward and embarrassing!

Later that night, Sierra, Linda, Kat Cheung and I all ventured downtown to seek out Salsa dancing! It's something I've always wanted to do and it did NOT disappoint! Cafe Sevilla was everything I had imagined a Salsa Club to be. The bouncer, Mike, was really friendly and gave us free passes for the night (he also had ridiculously long eyelashes, it's so unfair). You then had to walk downstairs to the underground level where there was a small entrance. Suddenly, it would open up to be this hot, humid, spread out dance floor where the red lighting and live band gave it the perfect dance mood. Random guys came up to ask us to dance and while I've never really Salsa'ed before, it was so much fun. As long as the guy was a good lead, following was pretty simple.

Speaking of Sierra and Linda, we also went out to celebrate Sierra earlier in the month! She earned Honors in her major! So we went to Hillcrest and picked out an Indian restaurant to eat. Yum!



Thursday, 5/15/08: Grunion(less) Run!
Kat, Cassie, Linda and I all attempted to see the infamous Grunions...but to no avail. They were definitely no where in sight that night! Oh well, it's ok! We ended up taking a romantic stroll up (very far up) along Mission Beach and ran around the life guard towers a bit.



Friday, 5/16/08: Crap, I forget already. I need Kat to remind me. [EDIT] OMGz I'm a retard: SUNGOD FESTIVAL!
I can't believe I forgot what Friday was (that is SO not a reference to how the day was) but it was definitely my best Sungod! Not because the concert or the events were great, but because of the company, of course! To sum up my feelings about UCSD's administration: I hate you and you're all a bunch of squares who are trying to control us and ruin our college experience because you're all bitter about your own lives.

Anyways, the day started out with an amazing breakfast of Hello Kitty waffles with strawberries, bacon, sausage, eggs and Strawberry Mimosas! We had a bunch of friends over...I forget who exactly altogether but Linda eventually made her way over as well as Jean! Sierra had to work a half day so she couldn't meet up with us in the morning, but joined us later in the afternoon!

After breakfast, Linda, Jean and I went to do a little bit of shopping for Salsa dresses and skirts at UTC! We donned our swimsuits because we had planned to swim in the fountains on campus, but we heard that they drained the fountains and roped off any access. How much does UCSD suck? No bounds, I tell ya. Anyways, me and Linda decided that the only way to make it right was to swim with the dolphins. The UTC dolphins!


Yes, oh yes we did. We're obviously not very photogenic underwater, but it was rushed and we didn't actually want to get in trouble. Then again, do you think they'd really arrest two girls in bikinis? I hope not. What kind of world is that?

After that quick dip, we scampered off back to Costa Verde and went to an actually swimming pool to just lounge and relax. I got a call from Adam and was informed of a gathering at Christine's place (also at Costa). So after we got bored of the pool, we wandered on over there. I dont' know why people were so surprised at seeing us in bathing suits, we were just at the pool! Yay for Bikini Fridays!

We also rampaged through McDonald's across the street. We didn't meet the shirt and pants requirement but they were very understanding of the need for some fun so they let us order our meals anyways, haha.

FINALLY, we took the shuttle to campus. Weren't we surprised to see it completely DEAD. I mean, it was like a weekend! So very different from all the other Sungods where people are wandering around, people running into friends, just fun in general. It's like the one day of the year where we feel like a college campus and have some sort of pride. Anyways, we took and quick photo in front of the Sungod, and what do you know, the Koala DOES have it's upside: it maintained it waterslide tarp up on Muir Lawn!



There was one smaller hole that was in the middle of the tarp, and of course my arm went through it as I slid down, face first. It yanked my right arm back and left a nasty burn mark that later scabbed over. =(

Thanks to Jean, who was our photographer!

We went to Pei's place to drop off some stuff and then went to where the real fun was at: IHouse! Seriously, one thing I've learned about UCSD is that IHouse is where it's at. Everyone is so friendly and the international kids are so much more spontaneous. People wandering in and out of dorms and making new friends.

After spending most of the afternoon in that area (I finally found Irvin again), we decided to check out this new system of UCSD's where they combined everything about Sungod into the RIMAC area. Basically, it blew. We had to stand in this HUUUGE line to get in before a certain time and it was just so ridiculous. Ugh. I just did not like that. I ended up losing Sierra and Jean at some point but I ended up taking a nap on the lawn for a little bit. Anyways, I think I saw Shian and a couple other people but this part was a bit confusing.

Thanks for letting me nap on you, haha.

I watched/listened to Sean Kingston "Kingston, Kingston...(echo echo echo...)" and he was not a very good entertainer. He didn't even perform all his hits all the way! =( Anyways, I found Cassie and Linda and we tried to figure out when Kat was going to perform her LAST dance! We found her too! Yay! She said that they were going to perform on the side stage and that if we saw it light up, we should haul ass there.

Meanwhile, some guy was hitting on Cassie and it was awkward trying to ignore him. Then he turns around to go back to his friends and his friends turned out to be me and Irvin's friend and THAT was awkward. O_o Go figure! Suddenly, I turned and saw the side stage lit up so me, Cassie and Linda sprinted for the stage. We got there with enough time to get front stage seats!

They were amazingg! I'll post the video, too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D26VBozc5ew
They even had different shows like these weird acrobats and other dancers. Pretty cool! I think that the side stage was possibly better than the concert!

After THAT, we were some of the last ones on campus as most people left the concert (bad signs!). We were hungry again so Kat, Cassie, Linda, Irvin and I went to Tea Station to get some food and drinks! So Asian, haha. After that, we were pretty exhausted so we dropped them off home and called it a night. Whew!

I love themmm!

Saturday, 5/17/08: Sorry Ronnie, we went to LA.
So Saturday was supposed to be a recovery during the day and the follow up of Sixth College reunions. We went to the beach and it was PERFECT. I mean, when San Diego has good weather, it's incredible. We took the bus from campus so that we wouldn't have to deal with parking...good thing too! It was SO CROWDED at the beach! Oh well, it made it that much more fun!

We were hungry, so we trekked to a burger joint up on the main road and ate yummy greasiness. Totally worth it. Eric and Gary even visited SD, though I didn't get to see them much. Sorry! I walked up and down the whole beach looking for those guys when they actually ended up walking up to the other end looking for ME. Go figure. I even ran into Garcia and Jess. Fun day!

Later that night, Ronnie was throwing a welcome home party for his brother...but instead, we tried this whole "spontaneous" run we were having and decided to drive up to LA. Why? Because I got invited to Eva Longoria's new restaurant opening party. The words that were used to describe it to me were "red carpet", "exclusive", and "you should come if you can handle the paparazzi". O_o I don't think they would take pictures of us, but the idea that paparazzi would be there was crazy! So being silly, we were like, OKAY LETS GO!

Unfortunately, LA traffic got the better of us and we ended up missing the party. Oh well, we ended up going to a club for a little bit and then grabbing some amazing breakfast food for a super late dinner. Thanks anyways, Larry!



Sunday, 5/15/08: I don't remember. =(

Okay, that is my bulk update for that one week. I'll return to do this past week at another time!

Sick as a dog and thus...bedridden.

As a disclaimer, I'm super sick, can do nothing by lie down and so please bear with my ramblings.

So what I thought was a spontaneous case of allergies turned into a full blown sickness of dizziness, weakness, a closed-up throat and the inability to speak. They say that every time you get "sick", it's actually a different version since your immune system has the cure on backup if you encounter the same thing twice. Well, I'll make a mental note on this one version: the early symptom is excessive sneezing. I'm not joking. I probably sneezed like 30 times in one day! So beware!

I woke up with a horrible pain in my throat today and couldn't squeak out a sound without even more pain, so I was a mute. I planned on trying to stay warm in my pj's and in bed so that I could rest up, but instead I got a text message from my tech-savvy mother who reminded me that today was the last day for graduation photos. My first thought was ARGH. Do I really have to venture out today? Do I really have to get ready, put on makeup and brush my hair? But I figured that I had to do it for my parents...it only makes sense, right?

So I finally get ready and step outside in the freezing wind...wtf?? I will NEVER understand San Diego weather. Then I stand in line for over an hour to get my photos taken and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a frame for my diploma and graduation announcements. I can't believe how much money they make off of students, it's just so cruel.

Also, it's been one of those Panic Weeks. I tend to have these cycles where I don't worry about my future job(s) and career because I know I want to travel for a while...and then I panic because I have no solid idea of what I want to do with myself. I mean, I have some vague idea of what I want and definitely have ideas of what I don't want, but in the end, I'm lost. I know people that "it's normal," but it hasn't been as comforting lately. Especially when I'm surrounded by people who seem to know exactly what they're doing. I was hoping that I would have blossomed into that "young lady" that everyone in my family claims me to be, when really I'm scared that I've become a disappointment.

On a lighter note, things otherwise are okay...in the sense that nothing much has been happening. I'm on Associate status with AKPsi so I have a lot more time to myself, which is kind of weird since I feel no obligation to anything anymore. I've been living with my boyfriend of 19 months (along with 3 other roommates) and it has been interesting, to say the least. I know it sounds shocking but trust me, we didn't plan for it. It wasn't our initial plan and a lot of my fears of "what could happen" did happen, but what I didn't expect was that we'd work through them and come out knowing each other better (maybe even more than we may have wanted.). I'm not gonna lie, I can be a total brat sometimes, stubborn and irritable, but he knows how to handle me now; he doesn't let me get away with being a brat but he knows that he's not the problem and comforts me in the most surprising ways.

On the topic of relationships (and in no way am I hinting on my behalf), Gina is getting married in September! She is the first of us high school friends to get married so I will be attending my first real wedding of a true friend with many other friends. It is so exciting and so...grown up! I know it sounds dumb, but it's almost bizarre to think that we are of marrying age. And when we have kids?!? Just nuts, I tell ya.

Anyways, I'm starting to feel tired, so I shall...retire. Hah. Delirious, I tell ya.

News!

I have a new baby cousin...or is it some kind of nephew?? My cousin had his first son, the first of us cousins to have a baby! He's SO SMALL! It's amazing! Clicky!

Ignorance IS Bliss

I've come to realize that I am one of either extremes: I'm very comfortable or uncomfortable; close vs. distant; warm vs. cold. And I think it's because I've formed this mutant form of self-protection. I don't know how else to explain it. I guess I could also explain it in a way that in order to not have expectations, I don't do anything that causes me to expect them in the first place. As in, I don't want to have to set a sort of standard of what to expect. I don't WANT to know if someone cares as much as I do. I don't WANT to know if I've drawn the shorter straw. I just don't want to know because I'd rather skip through life knowing that everyone is nice than realizing that people are faking their smiles.

But then I figured, you know, in order to really live life and care about other people, you should show it. I guess I forgot about the whole reciprocation of expectation and people once you do favors, though, because I've been feeling butt-hurt about things that never used to bother me. One I feel some awkwardness or change, I just start to run and I don't stop until I feel safe again.

I noticed through my writings that this seems to be a consistent theme to my life. Am I always going to try and hug people and then run away?

The Firsts of the Lasts

This quarter is already scaring me at the pace it has picked up: too fast. I just came back from my last Spring Retreat this past weekend and while it was fun, it's made me realize that...this is it! This is my last quarter. This is my last Rush, my last first, second, third week of the quarter, what have you. This is my last quarter of college life as I know it. I've grown comfortable, complacent and even bored...but am I ready to move on? I'm hoping so because being excited for the next phase is what will help me in getting over my nostalgia for comfort here in SDeezy.

I've realized that I've always blogged throughout college and during a time when I feel like I should have so much to say, I'm actually unable to think of anything inspiring to write about. What does anyone expect to read here, anyways? I always thought that a great blogger was someone who could show their readers who they really were without ever having to meet them. I'd like to be that type of writer one day: someone real and relatable through just their writings. I hope I can have something to update about soon so that I can keep up with my building schedule!

Cursed Honeymoon

I've always been concerned about friendships and relationships that make it past the initial phase of being acquaintances. Some people tend to think that I have a lot of friends on campus; don't get me wrong, I know people in the organizations I am involved with or used to be a part of, and I like those people as far as I know. But I don't have many close-close friends, maybe 4 great girl friends I could call up randomly (and truly, I am blessed to even have those).

Don't laugh, but I seriously believe I am cursed with close friendships. Almost every "best friend" I've had has ended in near ruin. And I don't really know why. It's generally the same pattern: things are fun and great for the first year or so; It's the Honeymoon Period. Everything is so fun and full of laughter, inside jokes and good times.

And then things take a turn; things get weird or people change...of course people change, but I didn't know they would treat me the way they did. I guess my expectations didn't match the reality of the situation. And maybe that's not fair for me to have those expectations, but I hold myself to those same expectations, like, to try and not judge each other in our actions or a lapse in judgment.

And really, it's not the fact that the friendship dies that is so painful. It's the long process that for some reason, is stretched out over an extended and torturous amount of time. It's very hard for me to let go of close friends, it's like a break up. And I don't do breakups very well, admittingly.

I really feel like I sacrificed a lot for my friends; pretty much do anything for them. And yet, something happens to where...basically, I'm not good enough anymore. Is it me? Is it them? I guess I'll never know. It'll always be a he-said-she-said deal in the end.

Maybe, in the end, we're all just too fickle; maybe I've just been meeting commitment-phobes.

/emokid