Japanese Fire Drill

Today I woke up at 7:00, donned my blue firefighter uniform, stepped into my shiny black rainboots, and drilled until noon with all of the men of the Ubuyama Fire Brigade. As the token foreigner in the force, it is usually my job to hold my regiment’s flag, and present it whenever the command “kiritsu!” is ordered, and retract it when “naode!” is yelled out, meaning that I push and pull the flag up and down quite a few times on these mornings. Today, they let me try simple drills with everyone else, as well as being flag monkey.
The orders are actually quite simple, as are the movements, however they are hard to learn at the same time when order after order is bellowed in quick succession. I observed and mimicked the others, but this was my first time doing these drills. After many mistakes, and asking the instructing officers from the elite Aso/Kuju Fire Department how to correctly perform the drills, it all came together pretty well. I felt humiliated for not knowing the slightest thing about marching drills, but not embarrassed.
Surprisingly, I was not the only one screwing up. You can probably blame it on a nice Saturday morning, and the fact that everyone was forced to give it up to drill over and over again, and many people were obviously hungover. The second in command could not figure out how to run and stop properly when moving from our regimental formation to the inspecting team, and so he was laughed at and drilled many more times than I was. Also, it was interesting to see that the Fire Department does not tolerate the use of strong Higoben (the oldschool Kumamoto accent). The regimental sub-leader summoned a strong “Iiyussha!” and was reprimanded several times after this for continuing to use this corruption of the word “Yosh(i)”, meaning “A-OK”.
What perplexes me about “Fire Brigade Practice” is that at no point is there any fire or fire drills. This time I didn’t even get to watch the other firemen shoot the waterhose because today was devoted to marching and formation drills. I’m not sure what the average resident of Ubuyama feels, but personally I want the firefighters in my area to be trained professionals and wise old hands. That is, I want them to be specifically trained to deal with real life situations involving fire-based problems, and for performing other rescue operations such as but not limited to the use of the fire hose and water pump (remember, fire hydrants and cisterns are not cost effective or particularly useful in the deep country), various fire extinguishers, shovels, picks, rescue axes, fire (in case they need to make a fire line), fire retardants, ladders, ropes, climbing equipment, use of special suits and masks, educating the general public about fire avoidance and mitigation techniques, first aid and CPR, and being able to save cute little fluffy kittens and puppy dogs caught in all sorts of perilous situations. I don’t particularly care if they march to the scene in a tight, professional formation in cadence, or if they can snap off a crisp salute. In fact, when that alarm bell rings, I want those guys to drop their instant ramen, quickly and carefully don their equipment, and haul ass over to the problem. I don’t want them marching at double time, I want them to drive at three times the speed limit, obliterating any inanimate objects that dare to be in the path of the fire engine!
However, I am not complaining about the Fire Brigade. I am merely baffled and find myself asking many questions. Why don’t they devote at least as much time to practice putting out fires as they do marching? Why do they want me on the squad just to hold the flag? Why do they want to award me with a Fire Cheif commemorative patch when I leave Ubuyama? Why are they going to take me to Okinawa for the second time in one year later this month? No, I am not complaining.
Wait, what? The Fire Brigade is paying for me to go to Okinawa again? That’s right! On the last trip after hearing that diving was one of my hobbies, everyone decided to try it and they all immensely enjoyed themselves. And so this time, we’re diving off of a boat close to one of Okinawa’s smaller islands!
So what does a token gaijin learn when he is in the service of the Fire Brigade in the cho inaka? He learns how to march, he learns how to present the flag, but most of all, he learns about the best omiyage to buy from the other firemen on his trips to Okinawa.