American Engrish

Damn, this picture is so great, I was tempted to cut and post it here, but I will resist my online klepto temptations. The site’s worth exploring with gems like “Chinese Hut“.
I had no idea that there were Mister Donut franchises in the states (who in their right mind would eat at Mister Donut when there are awesome places like Adam’s Avenue Donuts, Yong’s Donuts, Krispy Kreme, and all of the other Korean- uh, ahem, I guess I have been out of the loop for a while… make that Cambodian owned and operated donut shops that make GOOD donuts). Master Donut, heh. I know that in the Deathmatch Arena, Master Donut would undoubtedly kick Mister’s Donuts, and then cannibalize his bretheren, while uttering “Now I am the Master“.
On a related note, I heard a rumor that there is a Mos Burger located somewhere around Mater Dei High School in Orange County. I have also heard that one exists in Hawaii. Are there any Mos Burgers in the states? And I heard that they have Circle Ks and 7-11s over there too! What, what? Those stores didn’t originate in Japan?

9 thoughts on “American Engrish”

  1. I take joy in telling people that Yoshinoya exists in the states. The funny thing is that the stores in Japan are only now scrambling to diversify their menu because of the mad cow scare… I tell them about the famed “chicken teri bowl” and “combo plates” at the Yoshinoya Beef Bowl near dad’s office that we have eating since we were little. (As a side note, one time a brotha tried to sell dad a hot TV in the parking lot there for $50. Dad turned down the offer and gave me a lecture about “not buying stolen goods” as I sucked down the sweet strips of sliced and stewed Betsy.)
    If I were mean, I would tell them about the “dog bowl” and “poodle pudding” they serve at Yoshinoya in Korea.

  2. Hahahahahahahahaha…arg! Okay, now that that’s done with, I’ve got some response. First off, a Mos Burger does exist in Honolulu (I’ve been there), but it’s hard to consider Hawaii and Alaska “States” persay as they always seem to get left out. Such as the famous “will ship anywhere in the lower 48 states,” which in itself always confused the shit out of me, because I have always assumed that North was considered “up” and South was consider “down.” Last time I checked Hawaii was much closer to the equator (“lower”) then any U.S. “State.” Go figure. And of course there are the other shipping idioms such as: “Alaska and Hawaii residents add $$$$$,” or “Excludes Canada and Alaska.” While I can’t verify Mos Burger, Orange County, I will vouch for Mos Burger, Honolulu. Unfortunately and much to my dismay, they don’t serve green tea shakes. This of course was the one thing that I actually thought the Japanese did right in the “fast food” burger joint realm.
    While I’m on the topic of excluded States and in this case Nations, Canada is another country. The pictures on the link were taken in Ontario, Canada, not Ontario, CA. So, Mister Doughnut may not be in the States. There may have been some that have trickled into Maine or Connecticutt, but if I’m not mistaken the East Coast is Krispy Kreme’s original territory. Besides, if Homer didn’t trust the French Chef, then I don’t either. For all the non-Simpsons fans, “the French have a saying…never trust the cook.” The Transporter, et.al.
    Good call on the doughnut shops though. My local shop is called 3-D Doughnuts, owned by the family of a Cambodian friend, Rattanik Kea. Damn, they used to supply 30 dozen doughnuts to our school everyday. They were sold to raise funds for our Athletic Department. Ain’t that some funny shit. Now that’s America. I must say that I have eaten enough custard (Bavarian Cream, was what we called them) and jelly filled doughnuts to last 2 lifetimes. Damn I’m craving a doughnut right now.
    I don’t think that I quite know about the 7/11 comment, but I will say this: “You buy now,” “Hurry up and buy!” Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, et.al.

  3. Do they really have a “dog bowl” in Korea- this is not how I would like to experience dog for the first time I think. I want a nice stew or barbecue. In a breif conversation with Harvey, he told me a story about eating dog in China. He said that a “street meat” vendor caught one of the many strays that was walking by, strung it up, butchered it, and grilled it in front of him (don’t want to hear any PETA comments about this because this is essentially killing 3 socioeconomic problems…er, I mean birds, with 1 stone: 1.providing jobs and keeping money in the local economy 2.tapping into an under-exploited food resource while feeding hungry people like Harvey and 3.controlling the abundant population of unspeyed and unneutered domestic animals who are left to live long hard lives on the streets). He said it tasted like pork/beef. Ah, good ol Harv and his stories.
    Damn Steve, 3 consecutive posts on this one eh? Mr. Donut seems to make sense in Canada for some reason (because those strange brew drinking Canadians are all aboot being hosers anyhow, eh?). I will take your suggestion about having the links open new windows under consideration- ah hell, I’ll just do it. BTW, see what it says when you type in “Tazo Iced Tea Latte” at the Oracle of Starbucks (http://www.buttafly.com/starbucks/index.php)… I know that you hate Starbucks, but this will give you an accurate reading all the same as this short excerpt proves: “All people who drink Tazo Iced Tea Latte are potheads.” All bow down before the terrible prophecies of the Oracle!

  4. Hi, this is not on the topic but… I see you like driving Milk Road. You should come out on a Saturday night and do a few runs sometime. Send me a mail if you are interested.
    -Mike

  5. Holy Shit. You are having a Doughnut conversation and you did not tell me. Did you forget where I work?
    The people I work with fly down the street with their lights on to pick up a dozen or two.

  6. Thats right! I can’t believe you are working for THE MAN now. Are you an officer of the law, or just a “Nick Burns, your company’s computer guy”? Was that the scent of bacon that I smelled in Torrance, by the way (hehheh)? One thing I’ll say, those LAPD officers wouldn’t last a day out here- the closest donut shop is 2 hours away.

  7. Comment: Windows and Links
    Better on the window. Still a little to be desired, but at least I don’t lose you when I click on the links. I enjoy the links BTW. I just checked out the oracle. I found out that I don’t go to Starbucks much (Caramel Macciatto), except when others drag me there, and that I would like to order the Tazo Chai Creme, but I’m afraid on how to pronounce it. The Chai Creme, gave me the same Oracle as the Tazo Tea…I’m a pothead…err…in this case, I guess a wannabe pothead. Oh yeah and I drink the drink of strippers.
    Comment: Brian.
    Brain, I’m sorry that we mentioned Homer and did not invite you. I am a little uneasy that you are working for the Man and I’m an in the closet pothead. “…Yeah, well my friends can handle their highs. You’re not bringing her here. Wait. Are you calling from a cell phone? Wrong number! Wrong Number!” Pulp Fiction (Cambodia Style) et. al.
    Comment: Multiple comments all at one time.
    Sorry. This time I’m putting them all in one go. I’ll be the first to admit that, “Shut up Becky. I always think of the perfect thing to say…Shut up Becky!” about two minutes too late. “Usurper! Usurper!” Sorry I did it again.

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