Cursed Honeymoon

I've always been concerned about friendships and relationships that make it past the initial phase of being acquaintances. Some people tend to think that I have a lot of friends on campus; don't get me wrong, I know people in the organizations I am involved with or used to be a part of, and I like those people as far as I know. But I don't have many close-close friends, maybe 4 great girl friends I could call up randomly (and truly, I am blessed to even have those).

Don't laugh, but I seriously believe I am cursed with close friendships. Almost every "best friend" I've had has ended in near ruin. And I don't really know why. It's generally the same pattern: things are fun and great for the first year or so; It's the Honeymoon Period. Everything is so fun and full of laughter, inside jokes and good times.

And then things take a turn; things get weird or people change...of course people change, but I didn't know they would treat me the way they did. I guess my expectations didn't match the reality of the situation. And maybe that's not fair for me to have those expectations, but I hold myself to those same expectations, like, to try and not judge each other in our actions or a lapse in judgment.

And really, it's not the fact that the friendship dies that is so painful. It's the long process that for some reason, is stretched out over an extended and torturous amount of time. It's very hard for me to let go of close friends, it's like a break up. And I don't do breakups very well, admittingly.

I really feel like I sacrificed a lot for my friends; pretty much do anything for them. And yet, something happens to where...basically, I'm not good enough anymore. Is it me? Is it them? I guess I'll never know. It'll always be a he-said-she-said deal in the end.

Maybe, in the end, we're all just too fickle; maybe I've just been meeting commitment-phobes.

/emokid

Fashion Week (Or maybe just one night)!

My blog hasn't been posting correctly lately, so I've been lagging on my updates, but I actually do have something to report today!

Thanks to a contact (randomly met, go figure), I was invited to attend LA Fashion Week held at Smashbox Studios! Words cannot explain my excitement for this HUGE event. For those who don't know me, I've loved design and fashion ever since I was kid (and I say that in the least ditzy way possible) and LA Fashion Week is one of the biggest fashion events on the West Coast; most events are "invite only" and exclusive to those in some form of contact with the designers themselves.

Anyways, he called me early this week asking what I was doing for Fashion Week and I was like, "Um, studying in San Diego." Between work, school and impending finals, I could only make it up to LA for Thursday night so I asked 3 girlfriends to join me in the adventure!


In a summary only they will fully understand, we scrambled with our mobile dressing room (aka my car), met the nicest shuttle driver, took pictures, met Kari Ann (who was so, so nice and down to earth), saw beautiful people, ate yummy food and missed out a BUNCH of amazing swag. *tear* There were too many after parties to choose from but we got our dance on, met interesting people and somehow made the drive back (thank you, Helen!).


Thanks for joining me, girls! What a fabulous night before Finals...

Future Career?

I'm not sure, but I am optimistic. Or at least, most of the time I am. I do get worried, but then I have to realize that it is when I compare myself to everyone else that I start to get stressed out. I have to remind myself that what those other people want is NOT what I want. I am going in a completely different direction; and THAT is probably what scares me more, if anything. Scares and excites me.

Spam and Eggs

Whenever I have to cook something for myself (and I don't do this often), I usually end up with that same meal as a staple for the next few days since I can't eat so much all on my own. Lately, it has been my beloved Spam, Fried Egg and Rice.

I know not many people can appreciate the mysterious that Spam is, but fry it up brown so that it's poppin' with grease bubbles and it's the most delicious thing! I don't know how eats it "raw"...that's just gross and slimy.

Next, my egg: I love my egg fried overeasy. With the yolk breaking open onto fresh, hot rice, oh my gosh, it's the best meal I could ask for!

So, this is my ode to Spam, Eggs and Rice: Thank you for filling my tummy on those sparse and rushed meals. I love you!