Well, everyone is fine- no one got the bends or nitrogen narcosis or even stung by a jellyfish. There wasn’t really any opportunity to get hurt, and you really didn’t need to even be in good shape to participate. I shoulda known that the dive would be a joke, but it just didn’t occur to me.
Can you believe that I spent three days in Okinawa and NEVER got to go to the beach. I saw it from a distance a couple of times, emerald green waters with coral breaking the calm surface. The weather was perfect, with beautiful clouds and a gentle breeze. Nah, instead I spent my time shopping for omiyage, drinking, and eating Japanese food.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very greatful that I got to hang out with the firemen of Ubuyama, but it wasn’t what I expected.
So diving was like this: We had 3 hours dedicated on the schedule. The first hour was a crash super-simplified course in the dangers of touching stonefish, sea snakes, sea urchins, jellyfish, and other marine animals. Next was an easy explanation of the regulator and the mask (talk about tanks, BCs, wetsuits, depth and pressure meter, and other equipment was completely omitted). All of this took about an hour. Next we went to the dive spot. We were seperated into 3 groups of 4, and my group went last.
I knew the spot that we hit up (Manza Beach) was a great place because I had a long talk with a local Marine and an Okinawan girl who had just come back from a dive. We talked at length (as the others were getting basic training, which took up about 45 minutes) about diving, marine invertibrates, and Okinawan culture. This turned out to be the highlight of the dive, as I got educated about feeding habits of predatory sea snails, good and bad dive spots, Yoneguni, and spearfishing on the islands (the local fishermen hate it when they see you doing it) and other cool places (such as hunting for stripers in the Colorado River)..
So I finally got in the water with my group, and it took everyone about 10 minutes to put on fins and masks. They practiced breathing under water with the respirator, clearing the mask of water, and clearing the respirator of water, and swimming which took another 30 minutes. Then we got to follow behind the instructor for another 10. We only swam at most 30 meters in no more than 20 feet of water at the very deepest.
During this whole time I was itching to go explore and find a real sea snake but had to stay with the group. Still, I was astounded by the level of biodiversity in the small pocket of water which we were confined to. I saw more species of fish, snails, and coral in ten minutes of exploration than I have in snorkeling around Oita, Amakusa, Ashikita, Saga, Kagoshima, Awaji-shima, and other various spots around Honshu cumulatively.
So now that I have a taste of Okinawa, I need to go back to actually experience it the real way. Next time I will pig out on American food, get a bitchin’ tan while relaxing on the beach, and go diving for real! I will not go to snack bars or spend more than 30 minutes shopping for omiyage.

Ah, to be on an all expenses paid vacation (excluding ichi mon for something and incidentals, but hey its pretty darn cheap) with the men of the Ubuyama Shobodan (Fire Brigade, or as we Americans say Fire Department).
Right now we are in Naha, and as you can probably guess, I am in an internet cafe. Just before this we went out for a phat teppanyaki dinner complete with some excellent grilled shrimp (shrimp stew, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp sandwitch, barbecued shrimp, shrimp ice-cream, shrimp jello…), rare steak (I thought they only knew how to do well done in this country), vegetables, dessert, and beer. Okinawa is famous for a bitter melon know as Goya- it is bitter as hell, and only tastes O.K. with other food (like eggs and bacon) to mask it.

Rare tenderloin- bloody steak tastes like heaven after all you’ve had for the past six months has been well done kwakisurpiniku. Oops…What I meant to say was well done kwakisurpipiku.

This is the head of the giant shrimp. The teppan chick used two steel spatulas to squish it criss-cross style, and then used what looked like a concrete spreading tool to mash it into a “cracker” (read, well done shrimp brains, eyes, antannae, carapace, and other parts of the head which I now do not come to mind). It was actually pretty good if you were not thinking about brains while you ate it, but was still good even though I was indeed thinking about them.
This was followed up with pig intestine soup (hormone miso shiru) and sweet beans soaked in black sugar syrup topped with shaved ice.
Honestly, the whole dinner kicked major ass, and the 5000 yen tab was picked up for me! Makes the intestine soup that much more memorable.
Anyhow, after dinner, the guys (all married with kids) decided to go out to a snack bar (basically a place where you pay for young girls to talk to you. The good ones are pros at feigning interest in whatever you say and laughing at jokes that are not at all funny. What a shitty job!). I was offered the option of paying 4000 yen for all you can drink for 50 minutes with the girls, but graciously declined. Why should I pay money to have a conversation with someone who sees it as work? Why do people pay money to have one sided conversations? What do they get out of it? Many of them opt for “special treatment” later on, so why not just cut to the chase and save the pillow talk with someone who isn’t really listening? I am really curious, but I don’t think that I will ask anyone these questions on this particular trip.
The other reason why I didn’t go just to drink and to hang with the boys is because we are diving tomorrow. Now, I’m not a professional, but diving is a very demanding and dangerous sport. These guys live in the mountains and are not really good at swimming or marine sports. Most of them are in relatively good shape from farming, but daikon picking skillz do not carry over to functioning under water. I am worried that these guys who have been drinking since 8 O’clock this morning are gonna be dehydrated tomorrow. Physical exertion and a hangover might prove to be a problem. Hopefully the dive master will be experienced and competent.
Anyhow, I am snapping away with the digicam and hopefully I will have some good ones to show when I return. Wish me luck.

Well, tomorrow I am off to Shanghai! Got some cheap tix, so I gots to go. After reading about the Taxi service in Shanghai, I have been trying to polish up on my Chinese, but have since given up. But if we go eat Dim Sum I have a reasonable chance of being understood!
So, you want anything? Lemme know! SARS, penis of endangered animal, mail order bride, Polex watches… Don’t say I didn’t ask.
I promise plenty of pics when I get back…