Hapax legomenon of the day (with def)

Bamafutication: Claiming that the commander-in-chief had “nothing to do” with a military operation targeting the most wanted man in the world.

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You’re just angry you missed the Apprentice.

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UPDATE: Out of many, this is the best.

Legion, the chat transcript

Adam: yo
what up

Adam: that’s cool, I like chatting to myself anyway

me: hey
you there?

Adam: they killed the black guy!

me: ?

Adam: and he had a prosthetic hand…
bastards!
Legion
it’s a really good movie!
such an intricate plot

me: oh

Adam: and great acting

me: you should see spartacus the series
pretty cool

Adam: what up man

me: not much
just finished my only class for today

Adam: nice

me: i was sitting under the trees outside drinking coffee

Adam: gonna go do something fun?

me: um
soon
got a pal who’s cousin has an m4

Adam: lol

me: we’re going to go to the police range and surprise the shit out of some cops

Adam: nice

me: his uncle’s the governor of a nearby province so he has all the papers
he usually takes it to the range and gets asked about it by all the cops after he rocks full auto

Adam: oh no, black guy number two is rushing the zombies
fuck, where’s omar when you need him
oh shit, the little girl is a zombie

me: farmer in the dell

Adam: she ate him!
fuck
the white girl is going crazy
she’s in the van!
The little kid is leading the zombies

me: is that a gladiator movie with zombies or what

Adam: now the angel is taking an mp5 out of the diner
karate chop
flying forward kick!
cap to the dome!

me: wtf that movie sounds awesome

Adam: gasoline flame thrower

me: robocop

Adam: ooh, white girl is getting lucky
back safe in diner

me: you need to see walking dead

Adam: sorry, the movie must look super cool through text

me: it sounds awesome

Adam: that’s what I hear

me: keep going

Adam: oh shit, baby girl stabbing!

me: i wont bother watching it

Adam: lol
oh shit, the baby girl got tossied in the air

Adam: shot by machine gun!

Adam: like a midget toss
now the girl is in labor!

me: wtf

Adam: her vagina is glowing!

me: that movie is fucking complicated

Adam: never mind, was just a flashlight
wow, that baby popped right out
looks like quaid from total recall

Adam: “The baby was not meant to be born…but the future was unwritten. The baby was born.”
one handed baby catch!

Adam: wow, the angel is being rear naked choked@
oh, choker pwned by a switchblade hidden in a mace

Adam: “sorry, we’re out of business”
lolz
angel got shot in the head with a flare gun
wow, I think I should go study

Adam is offline.