Kindergarten Keikan

Yoroku? Nashi! Musuko wakakata? Nashi! Yabakatta? So, Amerika! (American coffee the bandits explain, is ridiculously weak. Like a stolen piece of junk, it does not do anything for one).
Aitsu jibun o nani-sama da to omotte yagarun da? Taka ga eda hagi da ze. (Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s nothing more than a two bit panty theif!)
Japanese complements of Peter Constantine
Today, I arrived at Hokubu Hoikuen (the Northern-Ubuyama pre-school), at 10:00, just as Nakano sensei discovered evidence of a breaking and entering. Someone had let themself in through the restroom window, leaving muddy footprints all over. All of the desk drawers were riffled through, but nothing was taken. The police were called and arrived at 11:00. They used an array of lights and dust to search for finger prints, and took an hour and a half to do a complete sweep. It would seem to be the same burglar who, last week on Monday, broke into Hokubu Sho (Northern-Ubuyama Elementary) and stole the kyoto-sensei’s laptop and Fukuda sensei’s digicam.
The search yeilded no leads.
The CSI dude on the right with nifty light, supervised by the Ichinomiya Police Seargeant. These dudes were total dicks when I tried to talk to them, but became friendly when the teachers told them I was a Nikkei Yonsei (4th gen. American).
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Point of entry.
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Inside close-up. The glass was punched out precisely next to the lock. This window is made of an opaque glass and thinner than the other windows.
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Outside close-up. Obviously the theif used tools to open the window, as a finger could not safely pass through the hole. Like a monkey using a twig to snag ant larvae.
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Footprint (next to my foot) outside the window. The robber has feet smaller than mine. Luckily for him, it was raining last night, and so any other footprints were washed away.
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It is a sad thing, when robbers try to rob nursery schools. What was the guy thinking? Hmmmm… That place must hold gallons of milk and a fortune’s worth of cookies, not to mention the juice and crayons! And just think of all the toys… After this heist, its straight up naptime. Jackpot!
About half a year ago, someone stole some shirts out of the Superintendent’s car, so it seems that petty theft is becoming more prevalent in our small village. All I know is that I have a big, sharp cleaver a few feet from my bed. On a separate note, I have no problem in implementing my version of Hammurabi’s code on anyone foolish enough to try and break into my house.

Category(s): Ubuyama

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