Fuck a cop

So my wife came back from Thailand last night. This morning, rather. Goddamn Thai Air flight was late 90 minutes, so she missed the last hydrofoil to the island at 9:50 PM. Took a conventional ferry that arrived in the next town over at 2 in the morning. It’s a $50 cab fare (for a fifteen minute ride w/o tolls, don’t get me started on Japanese taxis today), so I went to pick her up. I have to wake up at 6:30 these days, so I went early, parked in the ferry parking lot, and went to sleep with the engine on. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Woke up with a maglite beam in my face.
“I’m a policeman – open the window!”
“Oh, hell no.”
“Open the window – now!”
“Stop shining that fucking light in my face and show me a badge!”
The shit was on.
Asshole rolled me out of my car, smelled me for alcohol, inspected my driver’s license and gaijin card, and threatened to search my car. After I told him I didn’t give a shit, he lost interest in that. Instead, he told me to get lost and go sleep somewhere else. I told him I was waiting for my wife to get back from the airport. He asked me what nationality my wife was – I told him I was going back to sleep.
Of course, it didn’t end there. He harassed me some more and I told him to go look for Peruvians or something. He got all indignant and told me he knew the difference between SE Asians and South Americans. Like I give a fuck, right? I really wanted to say, hey, ain’t neither here, so get the fuck out my face…
You know, when I left California and the whole getting-pulled-over-and-photographed-for-having-slanty-eyes scene behind, little did I know that I would have to put up with the same shit in reverse on the other side of the globe…. Power trippin’ assholes with guns and badges. Some things are universal, I guess.

5 Replies to “Fuck a cop”

  1. You are SUPPOSED to pull the “I only speak sukoshi nihongo” bit. “Wife wa ferry de kuru machimasu.” That would have just gotten you a nice little warning and you could have been back to ruling the world in your dreams in no time.

  2. dude, that one doesn’t work every time for me. sometimes when i pull that one they think i’m korean, and then i’m really fucked. besides, that fucker just wanted to harass somebody.

  3. hey, and you used to assume it was just whitey out here in the OC that took offense at your attitude, right? So sorry for passing on the flawed gene for attracting testy karmic ‘skeeto bites. And I agree that if you just spoke engrish to the cop, he might have let you slide, stupid gaigin. Now you understand why I prickle and hiss a bit when I’m in japan?

  4. I live in glendale. The fucking Glendale Pig are picking on Asian. They don’t dare to touch the Armenian. Next time if you’re being pulled over by the fucking cop be sure to put that mother fucker on tape, that’s the only way to prove it to the judge.
    Once you have the cop on video. Give it to the local TV station so they can air it and you can also make some money out of that tape. Also put them on the internet.

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