cannot applove

Today I wasn’t allowed to correct the phrase, “for you apploval,” on an official letter because it was “written by someone on the board of directors.” The guy who told me this rolled his eyes as he said it, too. I almost snapped him in two like a pencil, but thought better of it. Instead, I asked the ficus in the break room why the hell they even bother running this crap by me if they won’t let me make corrections.
The ficus thought about it for awhile, then came up with a fairly satisfying answer: Apparently, demi-gods are allowed to make up their own grammar. Duh! Stupid me…

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