True Grit

The guy I work across from, Angry Hiro, spent the whole day teaching a particularly inept vendor a lesson by yelling at them on the phone for ten hours straight. I am currently trying to recall the funniest combinations of “dumbass,” “dipshit,” and “fuckhead,” and spent most of the day cracking up with my coworkers. Angry Hiro even used our amusement to belittle them, holding up the receiver and yelling shit like, “Do you hear that? They’re laughing at YOU! ASSHOLES!” In between bouts, he was popping these little white pills like mad and wiping sweat off his brow with this gaudy brown-and-black checkered hanky embossed with a Chanel logo.
When I asked him what the pills were for, he barked, quite proudly, “ulcer!”
It is a testament to the twisted state of corporate life to realize that I can respect that. Dumbass.

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