Vampire Killer

It is just past ten o’ clock and I am stewing in my own fumes. I ate a plate of spicy Thai pork for breakfast and it is now overly apparent that the secret ingredient was garlic. Normally I would have no complaint as the breath of death keeps perky morning office assistants at arm’s length until well past lunch, but today I have a meeting. With bigwigs from overseas. Overseas as in, “garlic novice” overseas. Heh.
I have popped a lemon cough drop in my mouth and it now feels as if I could marinate a chicken in there to make some exotic chinese dish. Hooray for honey-lemon eucalyptus. This should do the trick as long as I keep a lozenge in my mouth at all times.
Except that now I’ve started burping under my breath. Garlicky richness erupts from the depths… Guess I’ll show up at that meeting with some stakes and holy water just to get into my role – wouldn’t that be a first! I’ll completely redefine my company’s approach to hostile negotiations…

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